Broken Hallelujah
by MegTDJ
Summary: The hidden story behind Anna's fall from grace. CastielAnna
1. Chapter 1

Title: Broken Hallelujah  
Author: MegTDJ  
Category: Angel!fic, angst  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Castiel/Anna  
Spoilers: Anything up to and including 4x22, Lucifer Rising  
Length: 27,000+ words  
Summary: The hidden story behind Anna's fall from grace.  
Warning: I'm completely re-writing canon here. Please don't take offense.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I'm doing this for fun, not profit. The only thing I own is the story itself, so please don't archive this fic without my permission.

Author's notes: This is ANNA-POSITIVE FIC. Meaning, she is the heroine of this story. Please do not read if that is likely to bother you. I won't be offended.

This story started out as part of a weird fake-spoilers contest Kerri and I were having, where we would come up with the wackiest ideas we possibly could and call them spoilers for season 5. When this idea first popped into my head, I thought it was the most absurd of them all. But then I started trying to justify it, and before I knew it, it had started to make sense to me.

Believe it or not, I actually tried to stay as true to canon as I possibly could with this story, but that's all it is - a story. Something I thought would be fun to explore, not something I believe is actually going to happen on the show. This is probably as far from Kripke's vision as it could possibly be, but it was loads of fun to write, so I hope it'll be fun to read as well. :)

Many thanks to Kerri for the inspiration, second opinions, suggestions, Cas/Anna icons, innumerable butt-kickings, and being an awesome sounding board. You rock. :)

(My apologies if the format is screwed up. What the heck is it with this site removing dashes?? They can be kind of important on occasion...)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

**Broken Hallelujah**

**Chapter 1**

_Castiel: "Still, we have a history..."_

"This should not have been possible."

He felt shame. So much shame that he wondered how he could still be alive under the weight of it. He had never felt such shame before.

"We must never speak of it again," she said. She wrapped her robe around her shoulders as she stood, her back turned towards him as though she were afraid to show him her face.

Such a strong and powerful warrior... afraid? He knew that she must have been feeling the same overwhelming shame and confusion as he.

Feeling it was a new sensation for them both. He wondered what could have gone wrong that would cause this to happen. They were supposed to be cold, resolute, unwavering, undistracted. They weren't supposed to feel.

They certainly weren't supposed to feel love.

"What should we do?" he asked. "Should we seek forgiveness?"

"No." She turned to face him then, but kept her eyes averted from his. "We do nothing but return to our duties. Raguel will arrive shortly for a full report, and if our tasks have not been completed..."

"Anna."

The softly-spoken word made her pause, and emotion clouded her face for just a moment before she recovered her stern veneer. "Return to your duties, Castiel. That's an order."

He allowed himself a brief moment of sorrow as he watched her disappear in a faint glow of light. How could he just return to his duties as though nothing had happened? As though life as he knew it hadn't been turned on its head and altered forever?

Angels weren't supposed to experience physical affection. How then had this happened? Were they the only ones? He had never, in all of his ten thousand years, heard of angels mating in this way. But then, perhaps those who had committed such a grave sin were immediately banished from Heaven, sent far below to the depths of Hell to spend eternity being punished for their crime, never to be seen or talked about again by those who had known them.

He groaned as the potential consequences began to sink in. What had they done?

And did God already know?

He suddenly felt as though there were eyes all around him, watching his every move, silently accusing him of all the things he had spent his entire life loathing blasphemy, disobedience, carelessness. Was a mighty hand about to strike him down for what he had done? Would he be seized as soon as he left this place and never be free again?

Had Anna already been taken the moment she left?

Their lives were over, he had no doubt of that. And for what? A brief moment of forbidden passion that had descended upon them out of nowhere and left them feeling reckless, intoxicated. Why had they not considered the consequences? Why had they been so blind? Why, after all these years of working side by side, had their bond suddenly grown so strong that it had overpowered them? Was it his fault? Had he forced his dearest friend into this situation and sealed her doom with his foolishness?

The guilt and anguish finally became too much for him. He fell down onto the ground and wept.

"Father, forgive me!" he cried. "I will do anything you ask of me to make this right!"

Despite his weeping and earnest pleas for guidance, the heavens stayed silent.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Do they know? Can they tell what I've done?" Anna asked herself as she passed through the hosts of her comrades. Every glance in her direction felt like an accusation, though she knew it was only in her mind. She tried to hide any sign of her guilt or shame, but she could feel them gnawing at her deep inside.

Still, even these were no match for her anger.

It seemed absurd that she should be fearing for her life simply because she had allowed herself to love. If it were only her life that was in danger, she wouldn't care. She was rapidly growing disillusioned with this life and the code of conduct she was forced to live by, thanks to all of the hypocrisy she saw amongst the warriors of Heaven. She knew she had allowed her discontent to lead her too far off the righteous path this time, but she almost felt it would be worth the price to shout it out before everyone in the garrison that she could _feel_. That there was so much more to their existence than rules and order and mindless obedience.

But what of Castiel? His was a life she was not willing to risk. Despite the difference in their ranks, he had been her closest friend and confidante for hundreds of years, the only living soul she trusted to share her innermost thoughts and her growing doubts about the way the Heavenly army had been run over the past few decades. She knew how harsh their punishment would be if they were ever discovered in their sin, and she would rather die than allow him to suffer in that way.

Thoughts of God never even crossed her mind. It had been made clear to her again and again in the past years that He had turned a blind eye on His angels and their activities. He was no longer watching them, rewarding them for their good deeds, or punishing them for their failures.

That was Raguel's department.

For the past century, Raguel had seen all and known all, seeming to have informants in every garrison as well as near-omniscience both in Heaven and on Earth. If you made a mistake, Raguel knew when and where and why. If you lay aside your duties for a time, no matter how hard you tried to conceal it by doubling your workload for the rest of the day, he could smell your negligence on the air and gave you ten times the work for your next assignment. If you committed any act of disobedience or blasphemy, it was he who sent you to judgment. He was as cold and unrelenting as an angel could be.

She must not allow him to learn of her transgression. The consequences would be more severe than she could even imagine.

"You look troubled, Anna."

Inwardly she flinched at the sound of Raguel's voice, but outwardly she maintained her composure. "I have many duties to complete before the day is through," she said as she faced him. "What can I do for you, Raguel?"

He studied her face for a long moment, but Anna knew this tactic too well to be taken off-guard. She waited patiently for him to continue, keeping her expression as hard as granite.

Finally, he seemed satisfied with his findings. "You have been slow with your assignment today," he said in his usual strict tone. "Your entire company is falling behind. If this keeps up, Anna, I will be forced to reassign you to a lower position and give your command over to someone who will treat their post with the proper respect."

Anna lowered her head. "I understand. I'll put everyone on double duties right away, and I assure you that we will never fall behind again."

Raguel inclined his head in approval. "See that it is so."

Anna waited until Raguel had disappeared before she allowed herself a sigh of relief. If only Castiel could pass the monitor's inspection as easily, their sin might yet go undetected.

That was the lie she continued to tell herself even as she began to feel the changes taking place inside of her.

She tried to ignore it, but as the day wore on it became impossible to deny that there was a strange and unfamiliar energy slowly forming and expanding throughout her body. It was so minute that no one around her could see, but it was undoubtedly there, filling her with a sense of dread so strong that by nightfall her composure was all but gone. Before her presence would be required in the praise hall, she flew to the farthest, most secluded corner of the Earth that she could find so that she could finally pour out her fear and anguish into the void.

No one needed to tell her what was happening. She knew. She was the only one who _could_ know. No one else would believe for a moment that it was even possible. She would never have believed it herself if it weren't happening to her. She was an abomination, a freak of the natural order, a curse to her kind, a walking blasphemy.

She was with child.

How it had happened, she neither knew nor cared. The only word raging through her mind was _why_.

"Why is this happening to me?" she screamed as loud as she could, making the rocks and earth around her shake violently. "Did I not do all You asked of me for ten thousand years? Was that not enough for me to earn favour in Your sight? Now that I have doubt in my mind, is this how You've chosen to punish me?"

She sank to her knees and gazed up at the silent heavens. She felt abandoned, hopeless, as small and insignificant as a speck of dust. "Father, why?" she sobbed. "WHY???"

There was no reply.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Castiel: "I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do."  
Anna: "Like the old days."_

A day had passed. He had not been seized and taken back to Heaven to await judgment. No mighty hand had reached down from the sky to crush him and turn him to dust. Everything seemed normal.

Except for Anna.

She had always passed by his hilltop station numerous times a day, either to exchange a pleasant word or anecdote or to obtain a report on the tasks he had completed. She had never stayed away from him so long.

He just hoped that she was simply avoiding him because of their indiscretion. The reason for her absence could be much, much worse.

Still, he knew that if she did not come to speak with him soon, that in itself would begin to raise suspicion. She must know that the more they changed their usual habits, the more unwanted attention it would bring. The longer she waited to see him, the more they were likely to be discovered.

Even as his concern for her grew, however, he noticed that any sign of the previous day's emotions had evaporated. He felt like himself again - resolute, composed, dispassionate. Aside from the guilty memories still lingering at the back of his mind, it was as though none of it had ever happened.

Not that this was much of a comfort to him. How could he feel no differently after what he had done? Was this how it went when you begin to lose all reason and give in to sinful desires - they become ingrained in your mind so quickly that you don't even notice they are there?

He had always been so sure of himself, of what he believed and how he served his Lord. Now there were so many questions.

Questions that would have to wait until he was alone to search for their answers.

"Castiel!"

He sighed at his jovial friend's booming voice. "Not now, Uriel," he said, attempting to focus on the humans milling about on the streets below. "I'm on watch duty."

"It can wait five minutes, can it not?" Uriel said, approaching Castiel with an excited air and peering over his shoulder at the ground below them. "Ah, nothing's going on down there. Come, some of us are going to watch the beginning of the war. It'll be a wonderful show!"

Castiel cringed and shook his head. "Uriel, sometimes I think you actually enjoy watching God's creation reduced to rubble. I'll pass."

"It's the Falklands!" Uriel exclaimed with a chuckle.

Castiel glared at him.

Uriel's excitement faded somewhat. "Don't give me that look, Castiel. It will be a short-lived war. We will make sure of that. Come, it will be entertaining."

"No." Castiel turned back to his assignment without giving Uriel another glance.

"Alright," Uriel said. "Have it your way." He turned to leave, but then paused. "By the way, have you seen Anna today?"

Castiel felt his entire being freeze. He couldn't tell if Uriel was asking out of mere idle curiosity or because he suspected their secret.

"I haven't seen her since yesterday," Castiel said as casually as he could. "Why, has she not made her rounds today?"

"Not that I've seen," Uriel said. To Castiel's relief, there seemed to be no suspicion in his tone. "I wouldn't be surprised if her daily revelation turned into a week-long lecture on how a garrison should be run. She has been neglecting her duties far too often of late."

"Isn't that what you are doing?"

Uriel scoffed at the accusatory look on Castiel's face. "My, my, you're very sensitive all of a sudden," he said. "It just so happens that Anna neglected to assign me any duties today. I only planned to take advantage of the scheduling conflict, but..." He backed away with his hands raised. "I know when I've outstayed my welcome. Have fun with your mud monkeys."

He disappeared before Castiel had a chance to chastise him for the new nickname he had given to the human race. Uriel knew how much he disliked it and therefore used it whenever he wanted to push Castiel's buttons.

Sometimes it seemed Castiel was the only angel left who had any true fondness for their Father's world.

And he was the one who had committed the gravest sin against Him.

"Where are you, Anna?" he whispered, not daring to pray for her safety but hoping for it as hard as he could. He didn't want to risk summoning her using internal communications, since that would risk other angels overhearing and becoming suspicious. He just wished that he could see her face or hear her voice, just to know that she was well.

He was starting to wish for some catastrophe below so that he would have legitimate reason to call for her when he saw a familiar light approaching.

"Anna," he said as she came to rest on the ground beside him. "I am glad you're well." For a moment he was surprised at how calmly he was responding to her, but he was feeling none of the previous day's thrill at her presence. This gave him great relief as well as a slight, aching sadness. It had seemed so real, but now it was truly gone.

"Our superiors have assigned me extra duties to make up for my lack of productivity of late," she said stiffly. "Do you have anything to report?"

"No," he said. "All is quiet."

"Good." At first she seemed ready to leave without another word, but something made her pause. When she spoke again, her voice was barely more than a whisper. "Meet me on the island after nightfall. We need to talk."

And then she was gone.

The island... Castiel wondered why she would want to return to the scene of their crime. It had been their secret place for the past year - the place they would go when Anna needed to bare her soul without being overheard. They had both liked it there, far away from the prying eyes that surrounded them every day. It was where he had rediscovered his love for God's creation, walking there amid the trees and wildlife that had gone untouched by human hands and unseen by human eyes for decades.

But now it was tainted. It would forever live in his memory as the place where he had taken his first step down the road of disobedience and self-service. He did not wish to take another.

Why would Anna ask him to return?

He knew the answer was probably simple - privacy. Still, he wondered if there were something more.

The wait until nightfall was agonizing, but finally the sun began to set. He met with Uriel and others from their garrison for revelation, receiving commendation for good work done as well as orders for the following day. It was his first time seeking revelation since committing his sin, and for the first time in his memory, it did not come as a pleasure to him. He could feel the weight of his secret pulling him down and serving as a barrier between himself and Heaven.

It was almost as painful for him as the worst punishment he could imagine.

He didn't see Anna until after their meditation was over and those on night watch had gone to their posts. She nodded to him from across the courtyard and flew off in the direction opposite to the island. Castiel knew this meant that she intended to circle around and approach it from a different angle to avoid being pursued. He followed her example and arrived on the island moments behind her.

"We don't have much time," Anna said as soon as his feet touched the ground. She seemed almost frantic, in stark contrast to her calm and stoic demeanour from earlier in the day. "We have a serious problem, Castiel."

"Were you discovered?" he asked anxiously.

"No. Not yet," she said, pacing back and forth in front of him. "But I will be."

"What are you..."

She stopped and looked him in the eye for the first time that day. "There's a child."

He shook his head in confusion. "What child?"

She took a deep breath, fear tightening her features more than he ever remembered seeing before, even in the thick of battle. "Our child," she said. "I am carrying our child."

He almost laughed, hoping for a moment that she was attempting humour. It was too absurd to be truth.

But then, there was her fear.

"Our... that's impossible," he said, even as he began to notice the slight anomalies in Anna's usual radiance and colouring. She did seem... different.

"Obviously not."

He stared at her in disbelief. "We're not human, Anna," he said, an angry bite creeping into his tone at his unwillingness to believe what she was telling him. "We cannot procreate."

"That's what we've always thought," she said. "But it's happening. Believe me."

"We don't have physical bodies or..."

"Our energies merged and became one," she interrupted in her most authoritative tone. "Part of your being remained in mine, and now it is growing and becoming sentient. I can _feel_ it, Castiel. How is that not procreation?"

He turned his back to her in disgust. "This is sacrilege!"

"It is our reality!"

Reality... he could no longer fathom what the word even meant. What she was saying went against everything he had ever believed or held sacred. It was their purpose, their duty as soldiers of the Lord to remain solitary, detached. He and Anna had united - something he had always believed was impossible, and was certainly an abomination and a direct violation of God's holy laws.

And now... a child? Angels had never been children. They were now as they had always been - fearsome warriors created for the sole mission of carrying out their Father's will. There was no such thing as an angel _child_.

"We have to accept this as our lot and decide upon a course of action," Anna continued when Castiel remained silent. "I don't know how long I can hide my condition from the others, but..."

"Hide?" Castiel turned around to face her. "We must tell Raguel right away."

Anna's mouth fell open in shock. "No," she said, as though she found even the idea of doing so offensive.

"He might know what all of this means," Castiel said, his righteous anger rising at her obstinacy. "He could tell us what to do."

"He would have us put to death!"

"Unless all of this was beyond our control." Castiel took a few paces toward her, earnestly beseeching her with his eyes to hear his logic. "I was not myself at the time, and neither were you. Perhaps something is happening to us both, something we cannot understand on our own. If this is God's will..."

Anna scoffed, her expression one of disgust and contempt. "God's will?"

"Yes! Perhaps God needs this child for some divine purpose."

Anna shook her head and backed away from him. "You are out of your mind, Castiel. God would never want us to break the rules He laid out for us." She opened the front of her robe just enough to reveal the slowly expanding trace of foreign energy oscillating deep inside the core of her own. "This" she said, waving her hand toward the area even though it could now be plainly seen. "This is undoubtedly the very reason why intimacy among our kind is forbidden."

Castiel stared at the spot for a long moment, not knowing what he should think or how he should respond, and attempting to ignore the temptation to feel. He knew that she must be right but, God help him, he wished she were wrong.

"They will kill the child to cover our sin, Castiel," Anna said as she closed her robe again. "And you and I will disappear forever without anyone knowing the truth."

Castiel flinched and turned his face away. "Then perhaps that is what we deserve," he said, belief in upholding the law so deeply ingrained in him that the words came almost automatically.

Anna sighed. "Ever the obedient soldier."

Castiel looked down, knowing that even though her tone had been kind, the words were meant to convey her disappointment.

"No," she said. "That is _not_ what we deserve. Whether we were in control of our actions or not, we don't deserve to die. Our child does not deserve to die." She stepped closer to him and laid her hand on his arm. "Our only crime was love," she said as she attempted to make eye contact. "Love is not wrong, Cas. Love is _good_. It's _right_."

He kept his face turned away from her, forcing himself to remain strong, focused, emotionless. "Not for us," he said coolly. "For us it is unnatural against God's law. It's wrong, Anna."

"Why? Because God wants us to be the mindless guardians of His creation?" Anna shook her head and removed her hand from Castiel's arm. "He abandoned us to our own devices long ago," she said bitterly. "Why should we continue serving Him?"

"Stop this blasphemy! Just because He hasn't made His will known to us, it does not mean that we are abandoned."

Anna's eyes began to shine with unshed tears. "But we are," she said, emotion clouding her voice. "Look at what is happening to us. We are. All we have is each other."

She reached for his hand, and somehow he couldn't bring himself to pull it away.

"We have always been a team, you and I," she said with a smile.

Castiel looked down at their intertwined hands with an aching soul. He wanted to let the emotions back in, but it was wrong. So very, very wrong.

He shook his head. "I can't. It goes against everything I believe, everything I've fought my entire life to uphold." He looked up at her sadly, willing her to understand. "I can't love, Anna. I can't turn away from what is right. I need to remain in faithful service to our Father. Whatever it takes... I must seek forgiveness and accept the consequences of my actions."

"Even if it means our deaths?"

"Yes." The word felt like a sword through his heart, but he knew that it was right. A small comfort that seemed to him now.

Anna nodded slowly. "Then you're right," she said, the tears finally falling from her eyes. "You can't love. Not as I love you."

"Dont," he whispered. He somehow knew what she was about to say, and it would hurt him more than death itself to hear it.

She touched his face, the energy from her hand warming him right down to his soul. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel some comfort from the caress.

"If you want to stay," she said, "then stay you should. You have always done whatever I ask without question even when I asked you to fall into sin. I won't ask you to turn your back on your convictions again."

"You were not solely to blame," he said, the thought of her taking all of the responsibility upon herself too much for him to bear.

"Still. I will be the one to put things right. Go back to your duties as though none of this has happened. That is the last order I will give you. All I ask is that you be as true to our vow of kinship as you are to your vow of devotion to our Father."

Castiel bowed his head again, barely able to stay standing under the pressure of the task being given to him.

"Say nothing of our sins so that I may run and hide before my secret is discovered," Anna continued, her voice gaining strength with every word. "I will take all of the blame, and you you can carry on serving the Lord as you always have."

Castiel shook his head solemnly. "Not when there is sin in my heart."

Anna smiled, taking his face in both of her hands and forcing him to look into her eyes. "Don't you see? You are _good_, Castiel. Your guilt and repentance prove that you have done no wrong and have no need of forgiveness."

He tried to pull his face away, all of the guilt and shame washing over him again, but she held him firmly in place.

"All you need to do is forgive yourself," she said earnestly. "God will not hold this against you, Cas. Not when you have been such a faithful servant for so long." She paused, stroking his face fondly as though wiping his negative thoughts away. "And I will not betray you. Not if they throw me into the deepest fires of Hell. You will be safe and _free_. That is what I want more than anything."

He had always admired her strength and courage, but as he gazed into her eyes in that moment, he began to admire her for so much more. He knew that he could never turn from the path of righteousness, but oh, how he longed to have a fragment of her sense of self.

"You can't do this alone," he said, though he knew it was futile to try to change her mind.

Anna smiled and pressed her forehead to his. "I will never be alone."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

In a dark, damp, and dirty corner of the Earth, he paced back and forth in anger and impatience. He should have known the thing would be late, leaving him here in this disgusting place to think about how low he had stooped, how far he had fallen.

It had been more than an hour, and still, all he could hear was the wind.

He spun around in a full circle, spreading his wings wide as a show of his formidable strength. "Show yourself you reeking pile of excrement!" he bellowed. "Or do you plan on keeping me waiting here for all eternity?"

Its low chuckle sounded somewhere close by. Finally it stepped out of the shadows, its mottled amber eyes glowing brightly. "Did you really think I wouldn't stand back and enjoy the show?"

His rage was growing by the second, but he held it down by sheer force of will. He didn't want this _thing_ to have the satisfaction of seeing him lose control.

"Is it done?" it asked, its smile finally fading as it got down to business.

He grimaced, the knowledge of what he had done leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. "It's done," he said bitterly. "Though you still haven't told me what you could possibly want with an in-bred angel child."

It leered at him menacingly. "Mind your own business."

"Anything involving angels _is_ my business."

"Ah, yes," it said, stepping so close in front of him that its sulphuric stench almost overpowered his senses. "But an angel's unnatural, bastard offspring?" It chuckled. "Sinful. Dirty. Shameful. That falls under _my_ jurisdiction."

He shook his head, wanting nothing more than to wipe this despicable creature from existence.

"You just do what I told you like a good little lapdog," it said in a sly, condescending tone, "and when the deed is done, you'll get what I promised you."

_You'll get what I promised you._ Those words were all that was keeping him sane and on the path he believed was right. Because no matter what horrors and treachery must come to pass in the meantime, on the day that promise was fulfilled, it would all be worth the price they had paid.

They would see.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_Castiel: "I'm not a... hammer, as you say. I have questions, I... I have doubts."_

Despite her firm belief that she was doing the right thing, Anna was shaking with fear when she returned to the garrison. Her disappearance had to go unnoticed for at least half a day if she were to successfully avoid being followed and found, so she had planned her escape for early the next morning.

Eight more hours. She had to pretend that everything was normal for eight more hours. Strange how it seemed like half an eternity.

She acknowledged each of her friends and subordinates cordially as she passed them on her way to Praise, knowing it might be the last time she saw any of their familiar faces. It hurt her more than she had expected, but she had to fight against the urge to say her goodbyes. They all had to believe that this was a night like any other, but at least in hindsight their final memory of her would be a pleasant one.

If anyone dared to remember her fondly after what she was about to do. Considering that even Castiel could not see past the rules and allow himself to love her, she did not hold much hope for anyone else.

Castiel... her heart was still aching from his rejection, but she couldn't blame him. He had always been the most faithful, the most loyal, and the most devout of any angel she had ever known. If anything, she was surprised that he had remained true to her for as long as he had. She knew that he had never been comfortable listening to her complaints and discontented ranting about the orders they were given and the way things were changing. Instead of turning her in to their superiors to be punished for her heresy, he had always tried to reason with her, attempting to convince her that God was still in control and that His will would be revealed before long. He believed it so fervently that his reassurances had never failed to ease her mind and prevent her from giving up the fight.

Until today.

She had thought that his momentary passion the day before was a sign that he was finally coming to see things the way she did, but now she realized that this was most assuredly not the case. He was still the same old Castiel - still saw God's will in everything and had such a deep desire to serve that he could see nothing else beyond it. She admired him for his unshakable faith, while at the same time taking it as yet another proof that she no longer belonged among her own kind. She could never have that faith again. Not after what was happening to her.

God... if He really existed, and if He really cared, He would know what was going on within His own army. All the dissension and all the lies... He would have stepped in before it could go this far. Before she could be pushed so far as to sin in this way.

She knew now beyond a doubt that God was no longer watching them.

But Raguel was.

Anna had only six hours remaining before she could claim her freedom when she saw Raguel from the corner of her eye. She could tell that he was watching her as she knelt before the altar praising the Lord with her fellow day-watchers. She was trying to pretend that she believed the words she was chanting, but she could tell without even looking at his face that he could see right through her show.

After an hour had passed without Raguel so much as moving a muscle, Anna began to feel that his stony silence and unbreakable gaze were somehow more unsettling than being seized and taken for interrogation would be. Her will was slowly breaking under his watchful eye, and her words became slurred, apathetic, and finally nonsensical.

She couldn't be a hypocrite any longer, she realized. She couldn't kneel here before the throne of someone she no longer believed in. She stopped opening her mouth and joining in with the relentless chant. Then she bowed her head and waited for Raguel to make his move.

"Come with me quietly," he whispered into her ear, appearing beside her much faster than she had anticipated. "Do not cause a scene."

She allowed him to escort her silently away, only looking back for a moment to see if Castiel were watching. She saw him at the front of the crowd, prostrate before the altar without a thought or a care for anything but praising his Lord. She was glad of that. His secret would not be revealed by his reaction to her arrest.

As the door to the praise room closed behind her, she knew that even if she never saw him again, that last image of his devotion would give her comfort for the rest of her days. He was where he belonged, doing what made him contented and fulfilled. No matter what was in store for her at Raguel's hand, she would make sure that nothing ever happened to take that away from him.

Even if it meant her death.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Anna was gone.

Just like the day before, when the time came for her morning rounds, she did not appear. He had heard no alarms raised or search parties called, so he could only assume that her flight had as yet gone undetected.

Castiel sighed, though whether it was in relief or despair he didn't know. He was trying to do as Anna had ordered and go on with his life as though the past two days had never happened, but his guilt and shame were still hovering at the back of his mind at all times. He believed that hiding their sin was wrong, and he was sure that one day it would come back to haunt them, but for now he was simply glad that she had managed to get away.

It wasn't until halfway through his morning watch that he realized something had gone horribly wrong.

"Good morning, Castiel," said a cheerful voice behind him. "I trust you are well?"

Castiel's entire being, both body and mind, froze. He recognized that voice. It was a voice every garrison dreaded - the voice of the angel who was sent in to take charge when a garrison was falling apart.

When a leader had failed or forsaken their duties.

It was too soon for Anna's disappearance to have been detected and Zachariah called in to take her place. He would have heard the alarms and seen the wild frenzy as assignments were shifted and last-minute replacements summoned.

He knew what that meant. She hadn't made it after all. She must have been arrested hours ago for Zachariah to be calmly going about her rounds now. This had not been part of the plan. What would become of her? What should he do?

His momentary panic soon abated when he realized that he had yet to acknowledge Zachariah's presence. He quickly collected himself, knowing he had to remain calm and act as though he knew nothing. "Hello, Zachariah," he said, not removing his gaze from the world below them. "What brings you here this morning? Is all not well in the garrison?"

"Oh, far from well," Zachariah said, sidling closer to Castiel until he was practically breathing down his neck. "I'm afraid your commanding officer has been reassigned. Our superiors have been very unsatisfied with her work for the past few weeks, and they feel that a demotion is in order. I don't know exactly where they've sent her, but it's probably way out in the boonies somewhere." He chuckled, as though finding this thought amusing. "I was called upon last night to take her place until things are running smoothly again. Is that going to pose a problem for you?"

Castiel could tell that Zachariah was sizing him up, studying him, trying to gauge whether his loyalty lay with Anna or with his duties. He would have given anything to stand up for her now, but he remembered how earnestly she had pleaded with him to remain silent.

"Not at all," he said with a forced nonchalance. "It's just too bad that Anna had to be punished in such a way."

"Indeed it is," Zachariah said. His tone suggested that he knew more about her fate than he had indicated, but Castiel pretended not to notice. "Well, I will let you return to your watch without further distraction," he said a moment later. He patted Castiel's shoulder. "You're a good soldier, Castiel. I know you'll do double your share of the workload around here until things are put right."

Castiel nodded, knowing this was Zachariah's way of issuing an order. "I will."

Zachariah smiled his appreciation and vanished with a flutter of wings.

"Oh, Anna," Castiel murmured with a sigh. She wasn't safe after all. She was just about as far from safe as she could be.

He wished he could do something to help her, but he was powerless. Knowing that she had kept her word and had not betrayed him only made his guilt that much harder to bear. He owed her his life, but what could he do to repay her? He couldn't even find out where she was being held without implicating himself as an accomplice to her crime. If he were to remain free as she wished, he would have to forget all about her and leave her to her fate.

But how could he? Was that not betrayal? He was just as much to blame as she for her situation. How could he allow her to accept the consequences alone? Why had he accepted her final orders so quickly instead of remaining by her side?

With these and many other questions swimming in his mind throughout the day, Castiel had a difficult time retaining his composure as he met with others from his garrison to discuss the change in command. He constantly felt as though he were being followed and watched, so he could not allow himself even a moment of visible grief or regret. The slightest break in his faade, and his guilt would be plain for all to see.

By the time night fell, thoughts of where Anna must be and the pain she must be feeling could no longer be bottled up inside. He broke from the crowd before Praise to visit their island one last time.

Here he felt he could allow himself time to reflect on his friendship with her, the many pleasant times they had shared, and the vows they had taken to remain loyal to the end. They had known they were taking their intimacy too far even before the events of the past few days, but it was too late to take any of it back. He could see that now. There could be no ignoring their bond, no pretending that her disappearance meant nothing to him. If she had flown far away and was safe from those who would harm her, he felt he could have handled her absence more easily, but knowing that she was a prisoner and no doubt soon to be executed...

"I don't know what to do!" he shouted at the sky, willing the words to reach Anna's ears even though he knew it was futile. "What should I do?"

She would know. She always knew. That was what had made her such a great leader - she always knew instinctively what to do, with or without orders from those higher up on the chain of command. It was why they had always feared her, and why she had fallen so quickly into doubt.

And it was why he could not allow her life to be snuffed out. She was much too unique, too vital, too precious. He could not love her, but that did not mean he had to let her die. If it had been he who had been arrested, she would have helped him. She would have moved Heaven and Earth to set him free. How could he not do the same?

Somehow, he knew he had to find a way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_Anna: "I disobeyed. Lucifer disobeyed. It's our Murder One, and I knew it. Maybe I gotta pay."_

Anna had once thought that Heaven was a beautiful, peaceful place where no pain or ugliness could ever intrude upon any inhabitant's pleasure and happiness.

That was before she had known about the prison.

It was a place that had originally been built to contain Lucifer when God had begun to suspect him of pride. Here he had been locked away until God's punishment could be decided - that punishment being eternal banishment. This was a mistake that God would never make again after the trouble Lucifer caused for His creation. Now the prison was used to hold disobedient angels until their execution or "rehabilitation," or in some cases their exile to the fiery pits of Hell.

Anna wondered which of these fates would befall her.

She paced the tiny room restlessly, the shackles on her wrists making her feel more confined and powerless than the walls that threatened to close in around her. Both the restraints and the room itself were made of the only material known to have the effect of draining an angel of its strength and ability to fly. Her wings had essentially been clipped. She now understood firsthand how it felt to be a bird in a cage.

But none of this troubled her so much as the _silence_. Raguel hadn't spoken a word since leading her out of the praise room. Not to chastise her, not to issue an order or attempt an interrogation, not even to lay charges against her. He had simply escorted her to Heaven and locked her away in this place. He had been gone now for hours, and no matter how hard she listened, she heard no evidence of guards outside her door.

She wasn't sure how arrests were usually made, but this just didn't seem right.

Not that anything else about her situation seemed right either.

She finally sank down onto the floor, knowing for the first time in her life what it felt like to be tired. She had always heard tales about this material that acted as poison to angels, but she had never come in contact with it before. She was only glad that it did not seem to hinder the foreign energy inside her from moving and growing at its usual rate. It had spread throughout her entire being and was now beginning to change the colours of her energy completely, though it was happening so gradually that she had barely noticed until now.

"Surprising how quickly I'm getting used to you, little one," she murmured. She felt a thrill at the thought that it might have heard her. She could sense that it was alive and had its own consciousness, but beyond that, everything about it was a mystery to her. She wondered how long her gestation period might be, and how the child would eventually separate itself from her. She wondered if her birthing process would be as painful as it appeared to be for humans and other creatures.

She wondered if she would live long enough to find out.

Finally, just as she felt that morning must have been breaking back at her station on Earth, she heard someone approaching her cell. She scrambled to her feet with great difficulty as the door swung open and Raguel appeared.

He stepped gingerly into the room, clearly affected to some degree by the energy-draining walls. Anna watched his every move closely, bracing herself for whatever he was about to do.

"Do you know why you are here?" he asked in a low, solemn voice.

Anna decided it was best to feign ignorance. "No. You told me to come with you, so I came. Now I have been locked away with no charges laid against me. So please, Raguel... why don't you _tell_ me why I'm here?"

Raguel sighed heavily and stepped further into the room. "There have been rumours," he said. "Only vague whisperings, but they concern me nonetheless. There is talk of dissension, of doubt... and worst of all, of blatant disregard for our orders and code of conduct."

"I have heard those rumours, too," Anna said, encouraged by his hesitation. "What does any of it have to do with me?"

Just like the night before, Raguel's piercing stare sought to read her innermost thoughts, but this time she refused to give him what he wanted. Her expression remained impassive as she waited for his reply.

"Your heart was not in your praise last evening," he finally said.

"I have had a lot on my mind. I realize it was inappropriate, and I apologize. I just didn't realize we were now being arrested for such small matters as that."

Raguel's anger sparked. "You call worshipping our Father a small matter?"

Anna was tempted to say yes, but she held back. She felt that she was close to being released, and she did not want to jeopardize her escape yet again. She hung her head as if in shame. "Of course not. You misunderstand me, Raguel. I simply meant that I fail to see why I should be arrested for simple preoccupation."

Raguel came closer, studying her carefully. "I have had my eye on you for some time, Anna," he said. "There have been many changes in your behaviour over the past weeks. Now... I am beginning to see changes in your appearance also. Are you well?"

Anna kept her head bowed, refusing to meet his gaze. "I have been working hard," she said. "I am under stress, nothing more."

"And yet your productivity is lower than it has ever been."

"I have had many different projects to oversee, some more taxing than others."

"Hmm."

She could tell that he did not believe a word she was saying, but it was too late to turn back on her lie now. She stood still and waited silently for him to speak again.

He circled around her thoughtfully until he was standing behind her. Then he pressed so close against her back that she could feel his energy rippling against her own. "Anna..." he said slowly, almost whispering the words directly into her ear. "Did you know that there is a prophecy regarding the offspring of two rebellious angels?"

Anna felt cold with fear. _He knew._

"Angels cannot procreate," she said numbly.

"Oh, but we can," Raguel said, finally moving away to stand in front of her again. "It has only happened once or twice in all of history, but it is possible." He levelled an accusing glare at her. "And I see the signs in you."

She wanted to protest, but her mouth seemed sealed shut. Even if she could have spoken, she had no idea how she could deny such a direct accusation.

This was it. Her punishment was about to come. She closed her eyes and clenched her fists, willing it to be quick.

"I do not believe you are to blame, Anna."

Her eyes opened again in surprise. His tone sounded soft, almost sympathetic. She was sure she must have heard him incorrectly.

"Lucifer has many friends here even now," Raguel continued. "Something has been happening over the past few years... more and more among us are choosing the side of evil instead of good. I do not believe you are one of them. I have seen your anger over those who are beginning to stray onto the dark path. You are not a willing accomplice in this crime. Someone has done this to you."

Anna stared at him, not daring to believe her ears. "You mean... I won't be punished?"

Raguel shook his head gravely. "You cannot go back to your old station, Anna," he said. "I brought you here for your own protection the moment I began to suspect what was happening to you. There are spies everywhere, and they must not discover your whereabouts. If your child falls into the wrong hands, it could mean the death of us all."

There was such sincerity in his words that Anna had no choice but to believe him. For the first time in a long time, she felt as though God had heard her prayers. She was not to blame after all, but was simply being used by those who wished to bring down the Heavenly hierarchy. She did not know how her child could figure into such a plot, or how they had caused her joining with Castiel in the first place, but it seemed to make sense and eased her mind considerably.

"What should I do?" she asked.

Raguel took a key out of his robe and motioned for her to hold up her hands. She did so, and a moment later her shackles fell to the ground. "You must stay here where you are safe," he said. "I will guard you until the child is born. At that time, we can decide whether you should flee or simply take on another assignment far away."

"What of the child?"

He paused, seeming unsure of how to answer. "I am afraid we must hide it until it is fully grown," he said gently. "Once it is an angel like any other, there will be no way to discern its true origin. If the enemy discovers you or it before that time... we may have to take drastic action."

Anna nodded, knowing what he meant by "drastic action." The child would have to be killed rather than be taken by those on the side of evil. "I will do as you say," she said. "Only keep us safe."

Raguel smiled softly and touched her cheek. "Remain here until I return," he said.

Then he was gone, closing and locking the door behind him.

Anna looked around her little room in weary despair. She longed for freedom, but the life of her child was more important to her than anything. She would wait here until it was born, and then...

Then she would see where fate led them.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Castiel could still feel someone watching him.

Every moment of every day, someone was there in the shadows - behind him, beside him, in front of him, everywhere he went. When he turned to look they would vanish, but he could still feel their presence somewhere just out of eyeshot. It was enough to drive him mad.

And it was preventing him from finding Anna.

He wondered if that were the point.

But who could know what they had done? If he had not been arrested, then Anna could not have named him. If knowledge of their friendship alone was enough to cast guilt on him, he would have been taken for questioning by now.

"It must be in my mind," he told himself over and over again. Usually knowing this would be enough to calm his thoughts and return him to rational thinking. This time it only heightened his sense that something was very wrong.

He found himself looking upon the faces of his friends and superiors with suspicion, which made him feel just as guilty as his initial sin. Every now and then he would ask himself whether it would be better to confess and be done with it, but then he would think of how hard Anna must be fighting to keep his secret and how he had vowed to return her devotion. He just wished that he could discover where she was and what was happening to her.

And then, three Earth weeks after her disappearance, he did.

The call had come down from high up on the chain of command for two experienced soldiers to carry a very important, top-secret message to their superiors inside Heaven's gates. It was an event that occurred only once or twice each year, and only those who had shown the greatest loyalty, commitment, and courage were chosen for this most critical mission.

Castiel was stunned when he was informed that he was one of the chosen two.

It was the highest of honours, and one for which he had always been overlooked. He wasn't sure which of his superiors had submitted his name for consideration, but it quelled his fears once and for all that they knew or suspected anything of his improper conduct.

"Thank you, Father," he whispered after receiving his orders. He did not understand why, but he had clearly been forgiven if God was allowing him to be honoured in such a way. "I will not fail You."

Despite the need for extra care and security on this mission, or perhaps because the necessary steps were taken to attain it, the journey to Heaven was quick and uneventful. Castiel and his companion for this mission, Israfel, were escorted through the gates immediately upon their arrival and instructed to take the golden staircase down to the lowest level, where their superiors were awaiting them.

The lowest level - aside from the war room where the strategies of every celestial battle were devised, Castiel knew of only one other use for this most secretive and isolated level of Heaven - the prison.

If Anna had been captured and was still alive, this must be where she was being held.

He gave a silent prayer of gratitude for this stroke of good fortune. It must truly be God's will for him to find her if events had come together so perfectly towards making such an act possible. He was not going to waste the opportunity.

There were guards at both the head and foot of the staircase, but they allowed Castiel and Israfel past when they spoke the password their superiors had ordered them to give. Once reaching the bottom, the war room was just a short distance away, a long dark corridor extending far beyond it and out of sight.

Castiel shuddered. He had never before seen darkness in Heaven. He knew where that corridor must lead.

As much as he longed to follow it, his duties came first. He and Israfel cautiously entered the war room where a dozen or more high-ranking angels were sitting at a long silver table in deep discussion.

One of them, whom Castiel recognized as the leading general Ezekiel, approached them and held out his hand. "You have brought the reports from Earth?" he demanded.

Castiel bowed his head in respect as Israfel reached into his robe for the scroll they had been given. He kept his eyes focused on the floor as Ezekiel took it and looked it over, remembering the order that he was not to speak to or make eye contact with anyone in the room unless directed to do so.

After a long moment, Ezekiel grunted in what Castiel assumed was satisfaction and tucked the scroll under his arm. "Very well," he said gruffly. "You will wait outside while we prepare a reply."

Castiel and Israfel nodded silently and left the room.

Once they had closed the door behind them and were alone in the long corridor, Israfel sighed in relief. "I have fought many battles in my time," he said breathlessly, "but I have never felt such a weight of responsibility as from that little scroll." He laughed as though amused by his own admission.

Castiel smiled. "If it would ease your mind, brother, I will carry the returning message myself."

"You will whether you like it or not," Israfel said jauntily with another laugh.

Castiel laughed with him. He had always enjoyed Israfel's company, as Israfel always knew how to lighten the mood in any circumstance.

The two of them then fell into silence, standing at attention on either side of the door as they waited for further instruction.

"How long do you think it will take for them to formulate a reply?" Israfel whispered after a few minutes had passed.

Castiel shook his head. "I have heard of it taking up to three Earth days," he said. "There is no way of knowing."

Israfel shuffled his feet and ruffled his wings impatiently. "Three days..." he murmured. "How long have I yearned to set foot in Heaven again, and this is how I spend my time once I'm here?" He chuckled good-naturedly. "I guess the human saying is true - be careful what you wish for."

A light dawned in Castiel's mind as Israfel spoke, and he knew that this was his chance. "We were not specifically ordered to stand here," he said slowly and carefully.

Israfel paused for a moment before looking over at him. "Castiel," he said, wonder in his tone, "I have never known you to read between the lines of our orders."

Castiel shrugged. "As you say... it has been a long time since we set foot in our own home. I see no harm in one of us leaving this post while the other remains."

Israfel smiled as he understood Castiel's plan. "You will cover for me?"

"I will. Just don't wander too long."

"I will be back in time for you to take a wander yourself, my friend," Israfel said as he patted Castiel's shoulder gratefully. He vanished before Castiel had a chance to speak again.

Now was the time.

With a quick glance up and down the corridor to make sure no one was watching, and after pressing his ear to the door of the war room to listen for any sign that his superiors were ending their discussion, he set off down the dark corridor with hope in his heart. He knew he would find her. He knew she would be well. He knew that all of this could not be for nothing.

But when he reached the doors of what must be the prison, he found them unguarded. Surely that must mean there were no prisoners inside?

He almost turned back in defeat... but then he felt a familiar presence.

"Anna," he whispered. He would know that aura anywhere. She was close.

He quickly swung the doors open wide and entered the dimly-lit corridor beyond. Right away, he was amazed at how uneasy a part of Heaven could make him feel. It was as though he could sense the essence of the sins that had been punished here.

"Anna?" he called softly as he made his way into the depths of the prison. He wasn't sure who else might overhear him, but if anyone but Anna were there, he saw no reason to hide from them now. He would more than likely stumble across them sooner or later as he searched every inch of the prison for her. "Anna, are you there?"

"Castiel?"

"Anna!" He followed the sound of her voice, which seemed to have come from behind the door closest to him. He pressed his hands to it, even that slight touch draining some of his energy thanks to the angel-proof material that covered it. "Thank God I found you in time. I'm here."

"You shouldn't have come," her muffled voice said, proving that he had chosen the correct cell. "They will kill you if they find you."

"As they will you," he said firmly. "I will not let that happen." He tried to open the door, but he could see symbols on the handle indicating that some sort of binding chant was sealing it shut. He did not know the words that had been used to lock the door, and therefore had no way to open it. "I'll find a way to release you," he said, looking around for some other way inside the room.

"No. I'm safe here. Raguel is protecting me."

Castiel stopped and stared at the door in surprise. "Protecting you?" he asked. "What do you mean?"

"He says that all of this is part of a plot to bring chaos and disorder," she said, her voice sounding weak but confident. "The child will be of use somehow, though he does not know why. He is keeping me here until the child is born so that he may hide it and keep it safe. Please, Castiel, you need to leave before someone finds you."

Castiel couldn't believe what he was hearing. The fact that Raguel knew everything was not much of a surprise - he was well known for knowing and seeing all - but why had he not turned them and whoever was conspiring in this plan over to his superiors? Why was he going out of his way to keep Anna and the child safe?

"Are you sure he can be trusted?" he asked.

"I'm alive," Anna said. "That is all the assurance I need."

Castiel was still hesitant. Why had he been offered this chance to save her if she did not need to be saved?

"Cas, please," Anna said softly. "Go."

Castiel could feel the warmth of her hand on the other side of the door, and it gave him comfort. "If you're certain," he said, unwilling to leave her in this awful place but deep down wanting to follow her orders as he always did.

"You're a good friend, Castiel," she said. "I will always be grateful to you for that. But yes... I'm certain. I will be safe here. Go."

Castiel nodded and drew his hand away from the door with a heavy heart. "Goodbye," he said. He waited a moment for a reply, but there was none.

He left the prison silently, closing the doors behind him and hurrying back to his post outside the war room door. No one was around. It seemed that his absence had gone undetected.

Somehow, that brought him no relief. Ever since Anna's disappearance, he had felt that he must make it his mission to help her. Now that he knew there was nothing to be done, he felt lost.

But then, he realized, there was still one thing he could do for her - hope. And that he did with his whole heart.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_Castiel: "They feel I have begun to express emotions - doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment."_

Castiel's soft and sorrowful "goodbye" echoed in Anna's ears for days. She was touched and grateful that he had searched for and found her, but at the same time, hearing his voice and feeling his presence for those few moments had made her isolation seem all the more unbearable.

She had lost track of how many times she paced around the small room. She was so used to being active and feeling vital in her garrison that her confinement between these four walls was excruciating. She wished that she could request to be hidden away somewhere larger and less toxic, but she knew that Raguel was taking a dangerous enough risk as it was.

There was no way around this. For however long her pregnancy lasted, she must remain here alone and cut off from every other living thing.

If only she could know for certain how long it would be.

Memories of peaceful days and fighting side-by-side with her closest companions were what sustained her. Thoughts of Castiel only seemed to bring her more pain, but she allowed memories of their time together to enter her mind every once in a while just to keep them alive. But even as she clung to her past, she never once wondered if she could return to her old life. She knew it would be impossible. She could feel herself changing, growing more hardened and cynical with each hour she passed in this place. Still, remembering her days of faith and devotion brought a sad smile to her face. How little she had known, and how she wished to forget what she knew now.

Raguel stopped by to check on her almost every day, but his duties required that he not stay long in order to avoid suspicion. Anna often felt that these brief visits when she heard a voice other than her own and saw another's face were all that prevented her from going mad.

Even so, time passed as it always does. Anna's internal clock still ran on Earth time, but she soon lost track of how many weeks had passed. The energy inside her continued to grow until it filled every part of her. She could no longer imagine being without it, but she knew that one day she must.

And then, much sooner than she had expected, that day came.

It began as a burning sensation deep down inside her, slowly spreading from her core out to her extremities as the day passed. She was used to strange sensations by now, but this was different. Before long, it was escalating to the point of pain.

She didn't know what to do. She could not summon Raguel internally without the risk of being discovered, and no one would hear her even if she shouted loud enough to shake the foundations of the prison. She was alone.

"Father, please," she whispered as the pain grew too intense for her to handle. Prayer had been the last thing on her mind throughout the past months, but it seemed like second nature to her now. She sank to her knees and looked up at the ceiling as though searching for answers. "Please!"

The child's energy pulsated in every particle of her being, burning as bright as a star and just as volatile. If there had been dark corners in the prison before, there could be no trace of them now - the brilliant light so filled Anna's cell that it burst through any crevice and crack it could find, expanding them and flooding out into the corridor just to have somewhere to go.

Anna screamed in agony and fear. The child's presence had been such a comfort to her since her exile began, but now she was afraid. Something felt wrong. What if it were full of evil? What if it really were the key to something dark and terrible? What if giving birth to this creature killed her, and no one was around to capture it and keep it from doing harm?

"Castiel!" she cried as the energy began to surge as though ready to erupt. She had no right to call on him after sending him away, and there was very little chance that he would even hear her, but she couldn't stop the word from escaping in her panic and pain. "CASTIEL!"

The explosion almost came as a relief. The foreign energy rent itself out of her with a force that seemed to shake the entire prison. It filled the room with a light so blinding that it might as well have been pitch-blackness. Anna could see nothing, and her other senses were in shock.

She tried to pull herself back together to focus on what was happening around her, but she could feel herself slipping away. The energy seemed to bounce from one wall to another, seeking a way of escape but finding none. Anna cried out to it with what little strength she had left, but it didn't seem to hear her. She could tell that it was frantic and afraid, just as she was.

Even though she longed to comfort it and discover its true identity and intentions, she felt herself sinking back onto the ground as the energy buzzed chaotically around her. The pain she had felt was turning into numbness, and all of the energy she had managed to retain was now spent.

As she closed her eyes to the world around her, she wondered if this were how it felt to die.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Castiel was in the middle of his Praise shift when he felt it. He could not have defined the sensation, but somehow he knew what it was, beyond a shadow of a doubt. He knew that Anna was calling him.

The only thing he did not know was what he could do about it.

Months had passed, and he still felt eyes trained on him at all times. He had not had a moment's peace, but he had stayed on his guard and had not allowed them to find any fault in him. If he attempted to make contact with Anna in any way now, it would all have been for nothing.

But then, there was Raguel.

Anna had said that he was helping her, protecting her and the child from being caught and killed. He wasn't sure that Raguel's intentions could be trusted, but he had to believe that if he had kept Anna's secret for this long, he would keep Castiel's as well. And if Anna were really in trouble, Raguel should know. He was the only one who could move freely between Earth and Heaven without suspicion, and therefore the only one who could hurry to her aid.

He looked around the praise room, feeling certain that he had seen Raguel enter a short time earlier. He saw him kneeling at the back of the room, deep in praise and meditation and seemingly oblivious to everything around him.

Castiel knew that this wasn't so. Raguel was never unaware of anything.

He slipped quietly to the back of the room, passing close by Raguel so that he would hear when Castiel whispered, "We need to talk." He passed through the doors without looking back, knowing that Raguel would follow close behind.

"What is it, Castiel?" Raguel said, appearing behind him seconds later. He seemed annoyed by the interruption.

"Anna," Castiel said. He knew nothing more needed to be said to gain Raguel's attention.

"What of her?" Raguel said in feigned indifference.

Castiel took a deep breath. No turning back now. "A few months ago, when I was sent to Heaven to deliver a message to the Generals... I saw her."

Raguel's wings ruffled as if he were surprised, though his face showed no sign. "You saw her?"

Castiel nodded and glanced around to make sure they were fully alone. "The prison," he said quietly.

"I see," Raguel said, finally dropping his pretense of ignorance on the subject. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I can feel that something is wrong. She told me that you were protecting her. Please..." Castiel paused as he willed the faint traces of emotion to dissipate. "Please... help her."

Raguel raised his chin and looked down on Castiel in sudden understanding. "You are her partner."

Castiel averted his eyes from Raguel's judgmental gaze. He left the question unanswered, knowing that there would be no use in denying it.

"It's alright, Castiel," Raguel said almost gently. "I know that it was not your fault. You had no way of preventing what occurred. Lucifer's followers are many, and they walk among us freely even here and now. They are the ones who have done this thing, and they are the ones who will pay."

Castiel felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders upon hearing these words from his superior's mouth. He was truly not to blame. He had not sinned. It had all been beyond his control.

"You will help her?" he said.

Raguel nodded and laid a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "I will waste no more time," he said. "Thank you, Castiel. Return to your praise. I will keep you informed."

And then he was gone.

Castiel felt blissfully free of guilt and pain as he resumed his place in the praise room. He could still sense deep down that Anna was in trouble, but he no longer felt as though she were alone. This gave him great comfort, and made him feel much less helpless towards her situation.

When his Praise shift ended and he began to prepare for his daily duties, however, the feeling of something being gravely wrong began to grow. He wished that he had heard from Raguel, but he knew that he must be patient and wait for him to finish dealing with whatever problem had arisen. He wondered if Anna had been discovered, or if the child had been born, or if something unforeseen had happened to harm her. He would have given anything just to _know_.

"You seem distracted, Castiel," Zachariah said as he cornered him before he had a chance to depart for his station. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is fine."

"Really?" Zachariah eyed him suspiciously. "Because I saw you having a private word with Raguel earlier in the middle of Praise. That usually means that something is very wrong."

Castiel shook his head in nonchalance. "We were only discussing today's orders," he said, hoping that Zachariah would believe his lie without his usual barrage of prying questions. "He was summoned to Heaven on urgent business and needed me to oversee some of his duties until he returned."

For a moment, it seemed as though Zachariah were going to pursue the matter further, but then he smiled and patted Castiel on the back. "Rising in the ranks quickly, eh, Castiel?" he said with a chuckle. "Congratulations. Although, I still expect you to fulfill all of your own duties on time and to the best of your ability."

Castiel smiled in relief. "Of course," he said. "I will not let you down."

Zachariah smiled again before flying off to begin his work.

Castiel sighed and vowed not to let his worries distract him again. Zachariah was a good leader, but an inquisitive one. One slip today, and he might discover the true nature of Raguel's "business."

Even so, Castiel kept one eye on the sky, watching for any sign of Raguel's return.

A return that did not come.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_Castiel: "She is far from innocent."_

"Anna? Anna!"

She heard her name being called, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not seem to open her eyes.

"Anna? Oh, merciful God, is she living?"

Whoever was hovering over her must think she was dead, she realized. She tried to show some sign that she could hear them, but she felt too numb to move. Or was she in too much pain? She found it hard to tell the difference.

"Come back, Anna."

The voice sounded soft and yet commanding. She instinctively wanted to obey.

One eye began to open.

"Anna... thank God! Can you speak?"

She was somewhat disappointed that the face she saw before her was not Castiel's. "Raguel?"

He smiled. "Good."

Anna took the hand he offered and allowed him to help her to stand. She knew now what the pain and numbness had been - her energy was still pulsating and fluctuating erratically from her ordeal, as though trying to come together again after such a powerful outburst.

She focused for a few moments on gathering herself back into one cohesive piece, and by the time she felt like herself again, Raguel had moved away from her to crouch down in a far corner of the room. She approached him hesitantly, knowing what must have attracted his attention but somehow fearing to see it for herself.

Raguel glanced at her over his shoulder. "This is your child, Anna," he said, moving a little to the side so that she could see.

It was merely a small bundle of bluish-white energy quivering in fear and bewilderment - with no form, no wings, and not even a face to gaze upon - but to Anna, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Light shimmered around it like waves, reminding her of moonlight reflecting on the waters of Earth, a sight she and Castiel had loved to behold together on their visits to the island. It was an effect that somehow made it clear to her that this being belonged to them and them alone.

She moved to touch it, but she stopped when Raguel began drawing a net of some kind out of his robe. "What are you doing?" she asked. "What is that?"

"We have to restrain it," he said. "I treated this net with a binding chant for the purpose."

Anna was about to protest, but with one swift move, he looped the net around the child and pulled it tight, trapping its energy inside.

The child let out a shrill scream and struggled to free itself as Raguel stood and tucked it inside his robe. It was clear that he was preparing to leave.

"Where are you taking him?" Anna cried. She gripped his arm and tried to wrestle the child away. "Please, Raguel, let me have him!"

"I am truly sorry, Anna," Raguel said. "I must take him now, or he can never be hidden as we planned."

He tried to break away from her, but Anna held on with every bit of strength she had. "That was not what we planned. I wish to take him far away where no one will find us. Please, Raguel!"

Raguel sighed and pushed her away with hardly any effort. Anna fell to the ground, her energy crackling and fading. "Do not fight me, Anna," he said, his tone firm but sad. "This child is dangerous. You must have sensed it yourself. Left to develop and grow, he could bring all of Heaven to ashes. There is only one place where he will be safe, and I must take him there immediately."

Anna tried to rise to her feet as he moved toward the door, but she soon sank back in defeat and exhaustion. "Where are you taking him? Please just tell me where!"

Raguel turned as he opened the door. "I must merge him with a human host."

Anna stared at him in shock, her mind whirling with so many questions that they drained her of the strength to ask them. She barely even noticed when Raguel left the room and sealed the door behind him. Her gaze never broke from the place where he had stood, though her eyes saw nothing.

She had heard of this practice, but had never believed it to be true. Merging an angel with a human meant that the two entities became one - there would never be any separating of the two. The human soul would forever be led by the angel within, while the angel would be restricted by the limitations of a mortal body. It was a ritual that could only be performed by those extremely high on the chain of command, and those of lower rank were not made privy to the hows and whys. She had heard rumours of great human leaders being born in this way, but they had always seemed like myths and fairy tales. She could not believe that it was really happening.

And then she began to wonder why. Why would Raguel risk everything to save her child in this way? Perhaps he had been lying. Had he told her this to keep her happy while he went and disposed of the child in some other way?

Was he planning on keeping her locked up in here forever?

She remembered the promises he had made when he had first brought her here - he would keep them safe, discuss their options, help them to hide until the child was fully grown. All of that meant nothing now. He had taken her child and left her here alone. She would never see either of them again. She would never see Castiel again.

The fear, anger, and isolation finally got the better of her, and she flew at the door with a raging passion she had never felt before. "Raguel!" she screamed. "Let me out of here! Do you hear me? Let me out of here now!"

She pounded and tore at the door in a mad frenzy, its draining power lost on her as her energy fed on her anger and multiplied. She had waited patiently for months for her baby to be born and for them both to be set free. Now that it was over and Raguel had broken his word, she was holding nothing back.

"I will kill you, do you understand? I WILL KILL YOU!"

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Castiel paced restlessly, his movements causing violent gusts of wind on the Earth below. He barely even noticed, despite it being his duty to watch and observe.

Something was wrong with Anna. He could feel it just as he had felt her calling to him in the night.

It was almost evening, and Raguel still had not returned. What could be keeping him? Had they been discovered? He knew that Anna was alive, but he could not determine her condition. She could have been captured or injured or be in the throes of an unnatural childbirth that was slowly killing her.

Why had Raguel not returned?

He tried summoning him through internal communication, but there was no reply. This heightened his fear to the point of action. He knew what he had to do.

Uriel was stationed a short distance away, and Castiel hurried over to his post. He found him sitting on a mountain peak looking bored at the lack of activity below.

"I need your help, Uriel," Castiel said quickly. "I must leave my station for a short time. Will you cover for me?"

Uriel looked confused, but he nodded. "Of course. Where are you going?"

"Urgent business," Castiel replied, already itching to take flight. "I will return as soon as I can."

"Urgent business where?" Uriel called after him as Castiel took to the sky.

He felt guilty about leaving his friend with barely a word, but he knew there was not a moment to be wasted. He was at Heaven's gates within minutes.

But he was too late.

Two of the Heavenly guards were lying on the ground just outside the gates, obviously injured. They were being tended by two others, and at least a dozen more were standing a short distance away, listening in rapt attention as Ezekiel barked their orders.

It was obvious that there had been a battle of some kind here, and Castiel heard the words "rogue angel" at least once in Ezekiel's speech. He could tell what had happened without needing an explanation - Anna had escaped.

He felt cold with fear at the thought. This was unforgivable - disobedience at its worst. To break through Heaven's gates and harm any of your fellow angels who got in your way... he could hardly believe that Anna had done such a profane thing.

There would be no hiding now. No hope of a merciful sentence. She would have to die.

In his shock and disbelief, he did not even notice that one of the guards was approaching him until he spoke. "Are you here to join the search?" he asked.

Castiel shook his head, more to regain his senses than to answer the question. He was attempting to form a reply when he felt someone behind him clamp a hand down on his shoulder.

"I need to speak with you, Castiel," said a familiar voice.

He offered no resistance as he was silently led into Heaven, the gates slamming shut behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_Azazel: "My endgame's a hell of a lot bigger than that, kid."_

Azazel watched with greedy eyes as the final pieces of his Grand Plan began to fall into place.

"If that moronic angel knew what he was getting himself into," he chuckled to himself. But no one knew. No one in all of Heaven or Hell knew the full extent of his plan, and no one on Earth would ever see it coming.

Especially not the Winchesters.

He grinned happily at the bluish glow emanating from one of the bedroom windows. It was done. He was one step closer to his goal.

"You look pleased with yourself," a voice said from behind him as the blue light dimmed. "I take it you are satisfied with the way things are going thus far?"

Azazel turned to look the despicable creature in the eye. "Couldn't have planned it better myself," he said smugly.

The angel grimaced and shook its head. "Now that you've got what you want, how about holding up your end of the deal?"

Azazel smirked and reached into his jacket for the requested item. He drew it out slowly and waved it in front of him with feigned nonchalance. "Tell me," he said, taking a step closer despite the revolting stench that invaded his nostrils, "what could an angel possibly want with the devil's sword?"

It held its hand out without saying a word.

Azazel laughed and handed it over. He didn't need an answer. He could already see the murderous intent in the angel's eyes. "Have fun."

The angel simply glared at him and tucked the sword inside its robe. "When should I expect to hear from you again?"

Azazel shrugged. "Depends. How sloppy was your work?"

"Only one loose end," it said without reacting to the insult. "He shouldn't be a problem."

"Good. How many new recruits?"

"I'm working on a few. I should have a number soon."

Azazel smiled. "Excellent. This is turning out to be a beautiful partnership."

The thing looked more disgusted than ever. "Just remember that I am neither working with you nor for you."

"No... no, of course not," Azazel said in mock earnest. "It just might _look_ that way to the outside observer."

"Just keep up your end of the deal," the angel said with a flutter of its wings. It vanished before Azazel had a chance to retort.

He smirked as he turned back to the house. Everyone inside was fast asleep, completely unaware that their lives had just been turned upside down.

Not that their lives had been theirs to control in the first place. Not for ten whole years.

He sighed in contentment. "I love it when a plan comes together."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Anna sped toward Earth at the speed of light.

It had taken so long to break out of her cell that she had almost collapsed in exhaustion and defeat many times, but once she was clear of its energy-draining influence, her strength returned completely. She just hoped that she wouldn't be too late to stop Raguel from doing what he intended to do.

If she could find him at all.

He appeared to be cloaking his whereabouts somehow, though Anna's natural bond with the child seemed to guide her in the general direction of Kansas state. She knew that she had nothing left to lose after her violent escape, so she was more than willing to do anything it might take to find them, even if it meant turning over the entire state and searching under every rock and stone.

Thankfully, such extremes proved unnecessary. She could sense that she was getting closer as she flew over town after town, until she finally reached a place called Lawrence.

Her child was close. She could feel its energy clearly now as she made her way through the streets. She was so close she could almost reach out and touch it.

Anna's heart sank as she reached her destination - a house. Her child was inside a house. She knew instinctively that she was too late. The procedure had already been performed. Her child had been merged with a human host.

There was nothing to be done about that now. But that did not mean she would abandon him.

She crept silently into the house through a crack under the door, pausing to look at a photograph sitting on a table in the front hallway. A young couple smiled up at her, posing with their arms around each other in front of the very house she had just entered. A photograph of a small child sat beside it - a boy of roughly two years of age with blond hair and a lopsided grin.

As she studied their faces, she couldn't help but wonder which of them now held her child inside them, and why Raguel had chosen them in the first place. They looked like ordinary humans living ordinary lives. She looked at the envelopes lying beside the picture frames on the table - addressed to John Winchester. The name did not sound familiar.

She ascended the stairs slowly, having to fight not to turn back in her anxiety at seeing what her child had become. _Whom_ her child had become. She wondered if she could handle seeing it with her own eyes, but she knew she didn't have a choice. She could not abandon him. Not ever.

The child's presence was palpable when she reached the second floor of the house. There were four doors in the hallway extending from the stairs, and the child could be behind any one of them. Anna sighed, her impatience growing by the second. She just wanted it to be over.

She poked her head inside the first room, but withdrew it again instantly. Bathroom. She moved to the next door on the right side of the hall and peered inside. This was the little boy's room. He was fast asleep with his face turned away from her, but she could tell that he was not the one she sought.

She moved on to the next door - the only door on the left. This room appeared to be empty aside from assorted boxes, tools, and cans of paint. She didn't waste another moment before turning around to look at the fourth door.

This had to be the one.

Taking a deep breath, she entered the room and looked around. The man and woman from the photograph were lying asleep in a large bed, the man softly snoring with one arm draped across the woman's waist.

She could see her child's radiance now as clear as day. It was coming from the woman.

Anna felt a brief thrill at her discovery, until she realized that something wasn't right. The child's energy didn't seem to be filling the woman's entire body as Anna had expected. It seemed to be concentrated inside her midsection, almost as though...

Once she moved closer to the bed, she began to understand. The woman was lying on her side away from her husband, and his arm had been blocking Anna's view. Now she could see clearly - the woman's belly was slightly swollen. She was in her second trimester of pregnancy.

Her child had been merged with this couple's unborn baby.

Anna drew back in surprise and confusion. She no longer knew what to think or feel about this situation. Part of her had hoped that once she found her child she could spirit it away, take its human host and hide where no one would ever find them, but now... she could not steal the baby from this innocent woman's body. Even if she could, the human would never survive, and her own child would die along with it.

But how could she ever leave him behind?

She left the room and paced up and down the hall as she thought things through. Her options were few, and even though she hated to admit it to herself, only one of them seemed right.

Within minutes, she had made her resolve - she would neither take the child nor run away without him. She would stay until the human child was born and then decide what her next move would be. She knew that Raguel must have chosen this family because they were off the angels' radar, and he must have put measures in place to keep it that way. She could only hope that his own part in her scandal would stop him from telling the others where they might find her.

After a quick search of the house, she found a secluded corner on the ground floor that would serve as both a hiding place and an observation point where she could station herself while she waited. It was far from ideal, and knowing that she would be confined here for so long felt just as much like a prison as her cell, but there was no way around it. Here she must stay and protect her child at all costs.

As far as she was concerned, this family had just gained their very own guardian angel.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_Mary: "Angels are watching over you."_

"I feel like a blimp."

Mary sank down rather awkwardly onto the couch and sighed. She was getting tired of being pregnant. The past eight months had seemed like an eternity. She wanted to hold her baby in her arms already. Wasn't it about time for him to be out here in the world kicking up a fuss and keeping everyone awake at night?

He certainly seemed to have grown enough.

"You look radiant," John said tolerantly as he bent down to drop a kiss on her forehead on the way to the kitchen for another beer.

Mary made a wry face at his back. He'd learned the hard way what to say and what not to say when she had been pregnant with Dean. The trouble was, now she knew he didn't necessarily mean it.

"You want anything while I'm in here?" John called from the back of the house a moment later.

Mary patted her bulging belly as she considered her options. "Just grab a carton of ice cream and a spoon," she called back. "I'm not picky about the flavour."

She heard him rummaging around through the refrigerator and various drawers before hearing his footsteps returning to the living room. They paused halfway down the front hall.

"Dean, back to bed now."

"But, Daddy..."

"Now."

Mary sighed. This was the fourth time Dean had left his room that night, and it wasn't even ten o'clock yet.

"But there's a monster under my bed!" Dean cried tearfully.

"I've told you a million times, Dean, there's no such thing as monsters."

Mary shook her head sadly. If he only knew.

She heaved herself up onto her feet using the arm of the couch as leverage and waddled through to the hallway. "I'll take care of it," she said. "Go back to watching the game."

John obviously heard the weariness in her voice, because he gave her a look of uncertainty as he tried to gauge whether or not she meant it.

"I'm fine, John," she said. "I'll just sit with him for a few minutes and then go to bed."

John grunted in disapproval but didn't protest. She had taught him well. "I'll be up in an hour," he said, giving her a quick kiss.

"I won't wait up." She knew that John's "hour" would more than likely turn into an entire night spent fast asleep in his recliner. "And don't eat all of that ice cream yourself."

"Yeah, yeah," John said with a playful swat to her behind. "Goodnight."

Mary laughed and took Dean's hand. "Come on and help Mommy up the stairs, sweetie."

Dean did as she requested with a look of sober responsibility on his face, as though feeling that his mother's life rested solely in his chubby little hands. It warmed Mary's heart, and she tried not to show how much she was leaning on the banister with her other hand in case it hurt his feelings or belittled his, albeit imaginary, manhood.

"What a good helper," Mary said once they reached the top of the stairs.

Dean beamed and hurried ahead into his bedroom, jumping onto the bed as soon as he was past the doorway as though afraid to let his feet linger on the floor.

"Where's this monster of yours?" Mary asked as she held onto the dresser to lower herself down onto her knees.

"Under there," Dean said. He pointed under the bed without venturing too close to the edge. "I heard it moving, honest."

Mary knew that the chances of there being a real monster in their house were slim - she had placed salt lines under the floorboards herself the day they moved in - but she also knew that one could never be too careful. She searched earnestly under the bed for any sign of a creature or a spirit, but found nothing.

"I don't see anything," she said as she hauled herself up again to sit on the side of the bed. "Are you sure it wasn't just a bad dream?"

"I'm sure," Dean insisted. "You're just not looking hard enough."

"Mommy's had a long day, baby," Mary said, massaging her aching back with one hand. "Why don't you take a look for yourself?"

Dean shook his head.

"No? Not even if it was to protect me and the baby?"

He tilted his head to one side as he thought about that, but still didn't move to do as she asked.

Mary smiled and leaned forward to kiss the top of his head. She was almost relieved that he hadn't seemed to inherit the Campbell family thirst for seeking out danger. "Okay," she said, "how about I stay in the room until you fall asleep, hmm? If any monsters come out, I'll bop them on the nose and send them on their way."

Dean smiled and snuggled down under his covers without wasting a second. That was obviously just what he'd wanted to hear.

Mary lay down next to him - or rather sat uncomfortably with her back against his headboard - and waited patiently and silently until his eyes closed and his breathing became even. She paused an extra moment to be sure he was fully asleep and then attempted to rise from the bed making as little disturbance as possible.

He only stirred once when the absence of her weight caused the mattress to shift, but it didn't seem to wake him. Mary tiptoed out of the room and pulled the door over, pumping her fist in victory at her success. He was finally down for the night.

She was just about to climb into her own bed when she felt the baby kick. She rubbed her stomach soothingly. "Now it's your turn to demand some attention, is it?" she said. The baby answered with another kick.

Mary smiled and reached for the desk calendar on her dresser, ready to rip off one of the pages and say goodbye to another day. She froze when she saw the date she was about to welcome into her life.

May 1, 1983.

A shiver went down her spine. She remembered the day from so long ago when the demon with yellow eyes murdered her parents and gave her a choice between spending her life alone or saving John. She had barely even hesitated at the time, but now... now her ten years were almost up. What was the demon going to ask from her? Why hadn't she demanded specifics before bargaining with something so evil?

Then a horrifying thought occurred to her - what if he wanted her baby?

But that was impossible... wasn't it? Her baby wasn't due for another three weeks. Dean had even been two weeks late. Besides, the demon couldn't have known ten years earlier that she would be pregnant now... could he?

She didn't allow herself to answer that question. She decided she would check the salt lines in the morning just in case.

Sleep didn't come easily, and even then it was fraught with nightmares. She relived that fateful moment over and over again throughout the night, the moment that her life had fallen apart. Every single time, she ended up screaming, "WHY?" Why did she trust this monster? Why didn't he tell her what he wanted from her? Why did he leave her parents dead but offer to bring John back?

Every single time, she would wake up in a cold sweat before getting her answers.

It was around one in the morning when the first contraction came.

Mary woke up from yet another nightmare with a groan. She must be imagining it. It must have been part of the dream. She couldn't be in labour. It was way too soon.

The pain soon eased away, and she made herself believe that she really had imagined it until two hours later when the second contraction hit.

"No, no, no," Mary said, burying her face in her pillow as the pain again dragged her out of her fitful sleep. "Not yet, baby. Please not yet."

Panic started to set in as she realized the gravity of her situation. Her last delivery had been a difficult one, so her doctor had insisted on a hospital birth this time around. She had no protection there. Her baby would have no protection there.

This must have been the demon's plan after all.

She couldn't let it happen. She couldn't let him take her baby.

"Oh, God!" she pleaded through her tears. "Please don't let it take my baby!"

"You're afraid."

Mary gasped and sat up straight and alert, looking around the room for the source of the voice. "Who's there?" she demanded. "Show yourself!"

A stream of light appeared just inside the doorway, floating slowly into the room and gradually expanding into a vague form that Mary couldn't quite make out. She had never seen anything like it before, but she knew it couldn't be good. She started looking around for something she could use as a weapon, inwardly kicking herself for the absence of salt and holy water in her bedroom.

"Don't be afraid," the voice said. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Mary somehow felt soothed by the voice, though she knew that might be a trick or manipulation. "What are you?"

"I'm an angel," the voice said almost sadly.

Mary looked at the light-being with suspicion, though her fear seemed to be fading away. She didn't know anyone who had seen an angel before, and her father had firmly believed that they didnt exist. She couldn't quite bring herself to believe in them either, but there was nothing she could do to fight this creature off either way. Might as well humour it.

"Okay," she said. "So what do you want?"

The angel, or whatever it was, floated closer to Mary's side. "The child you're carrying," it said, "is a very special child. I am here to watch over him."

Mary felt a rush of excitement and relief. If this were true, that could mean that they were safe - the yellow-eyed demon couldn't touch them if angels were on their side. But how could she know that this wasn't a lie?

"I can tell that you don't believe me," the angel said, "but I can assure you that I mean you no harm. I have been here in your home for weeks, and I intend to remain for as long as the child needs protection."

"Why does he need protection?" Mary asked anxiously. "Why is he special? Is this because of the yellow-eyed demon?"

The angel said nothing for a long moment. "Yellow-eyed demon?"

"The deal I made with him," Mary said. "It was ten years ago tomorrow. He said he would come for something in ten years' time, and if my baby is born by then..."

The angel moved away from her and started floating back and forth across the room. If Mary didn't know better, she would have thought her words had made it nervous.

"You... didn't know about it?"

The angel stopped and turned to face her again. This time, Mary could see the features of its face clearly, and its eyes seemed to be shining with tears. "I was led to believe that you and your family had been shielded from the demons and their plan," it said. "I thought that was why you were chosen, but now I can see that this wasn't the case."

Mary's fear crept back into her heart at the angel's words. "You were led to believe? Plan? Chosen? What are you talking about?"

The angel seemed to sigh as it drew closer to her again. "It is of no consequence," it said. "All you need to know is that your child is more important to me than anything, and I will guard him with my life."

"But why? Why is he important? What does the yellow-eyed demon want?"

She had so many questions beyond these, but before she had a chance to ask them, the angel vanished into thin air.

"Wait!" she cried. "What does he want from us?"

She knew the angel was still in the house, but it was useless to hope that it would answer. Still, she found herself believing that it had meant what it said about protecting them. She had no other way of fighting off such a powerful demon, so she would take whatever help she could get.

"Mommy!"

Mary hurried out of bed as fast as she could at the sound of her son's frightened cry. When she reached his room, he was sitting up in bed clutching his bedcovers to his chin and looking around the room with wide, anxious eyes.

"What's the matter, Dean?" she asked as patiently as she could. "Did the monster come back?"

Dean nodded his head vigorously.

Mary once again looked around the room for any sign of a real monster, but again found nothing. She remembered the angel's words and knew that whatever was bothering Dean, it couldn't be anything supernatural. It was merely the result of his developing imagination.

She smiled and sat down beside him on the bed. "If I tell you a secret," she said, stroking his hair to help calm him down, "do you promise not to tell?"

The question brought a light of curiosity to his eyes. "I promise."

Mary leaned over to whisper in his ear. "There are angels watching over us."

"Really? Real ones?"

Mary nodded. "They won't let anything hurt us, especially not monsters from under the bed."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Dean went thoughtful for a moment and looked around the room again, either scanning one last time for monsters or hoping to see an angel for himself. When he seemed satisfied that nothing was going to jump out and scare him, he settled back down under the covers and let his eyelids begin to droop.

"Are you okay now?" Mary asked.

Dean hesitated before answering. "I'm okay," he said, "but stay until I go to sleep, Mommy."

Mary had no objection to that. She knew that tonight might be the last night that Dean would be the only child in the house, and she wanted to make it last.

And besides, after the night she'd had, she didn't want to fall asleep alone either.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_Ruby: "Because it had to be you, Sammy. It always had to be **you**."_

After her encounter with Mary, Anna roamed the house restlessly for hours thinking over what had been said.

She didn't know what had possessed her to make contact in the first place, beyond a foolish desire to ease the woman's fears and perhaps mild curiosity over whether she would be able to perceive her true form, but she was glad now that she had.

Now she knew that Raguel had lied.

She should have known. He was so quick to help her, and so eager to take her child away the moment he was born, without ever giving her a clear reason why. He had said he wanted to thwart the demons' plans, but now it seemed that he was working along with them the entire time. She could not believe that she had been so nave.

But what could she do? There was no one she could tell. Nowhere she could turn for help or guidance. If she were going to protect this family from whatever Azazel had planned for them, and in effect protect her child, she would have to do it alone.

If she had been cautious before, she was ten times more so now. As Mary's labour pains grew stronger and closer together, Anna's vigilance also grew. She followed the woman everywhere she went throughout the day and hovered over her bed all through the night, keeping a sharp eye open for anything even remotely resembling demon activity.

The strange thing was, she saw nothing.

Never, in all the weeks she had been with this family, had she seen or felt the presence of a demon. If Azazel knew about the location of her child, he was doing a very good job of hiding it. Still, she knew that the child's birth might be exactly the opportunity he had been waiting for. She remained on her guard, ready to smite without mercy at a moment's notice.

It was just after sundown the next evening when Mary's contractions became too close together to ignore. She insisted on putting the little boy to bed before heading to the hospital, for which Anna was grateful. She knew that the house offered him much more protection than any other building in town, and that would mean one less soul for her to be guarding. She made sure that the babysitter who came to the house had good intentions toward the family, and then followed the Winchesters' car as they drove to the hospital.

She knew she must be careful not to be spotted by any other angels who might be stationed there, so she did not follow the couple inside the building. She watched them through the windows as they were admitted and escorted into the elevator and up to the maternity ward.

It was then that she felt it. A demon was close.

She steeled herself for battle, knowing full well that if it were Azazel she would more than likely die fighting him. There was no way that she could get the upper hand over a demon as powerful as he, but she would not just stand by and watch while he did whatever he pleased to innocent people.

He would have to go through her first.

She entered Mary's room through the window, standing watch by her bed as the nurses prepared her for the child's birth. She knew that Mary couldn't see her, but it seemed as though the woman's anxiety lessened the closer Anna came to her side. She could feel that Anna was there and trusted her to keep them safe.

Anna would not let her down.

The demon's presence drew nearer until finally Anna saw it hovering outside the window. To Anna's relief, it was not Azazel. It was merely one of his lackeys come to check on its master's work.

She spread her wings to block its view of Mary and show it that she meant to guard her at all costs. The demon quickly disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Anna knew that it had not given up that easily. This was only the beginning - it had been nothing more than a scout. The real army would follow close behind it.

She was ready.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"It's foggy tonight," John said, looking out the steamed-up window.

Mary clenched her jaw against another contraction, almost grateful that it had come before she had the chance to say something she would later regret. She knew that the smoky cloud outside the window wasn't fog. She just couldn't tell John what it really was without him thinking that she'd lost her mind.

Thankfully, she had also seen a halo of light a few moments earlier that led her to believe that the angel was still by her side. Without that reassurance, she felt that she would never be able to focus on delivering her baby.

"Just concentrate on me, okay?" she said with a forced laugh as she squeezed John's hand.

John drew his gaze away from the window with a guilty expression on his face. "Sorry," he said. "I'm all yours. Just keep breathing."

Mary nodded and took a few deep breaths as she waited for the next contraction.

"It's gonna be okay," John soothed. "The baby's healthy, you're healthy... everything's fine."

Mary bit her lip against arguing the point. Inwardly her thoughts were screaming, "Fine? _Fine?_ Demons want our child for something that even the angels don't understand, and you think everything is fine??" He could never know just how much danger they were in.

Black smoke billowed around the window as her next contraction hit.

John's attention darted back and forth in distress between the window and his wife. "My God, is there a fire?"

"John!"

His full attention snapped back onto her when the grip on his hand turned into a vice. "Okay," he said, reaching his other hand out to stroke her hair, "it's okay, I'm sure everything's fine. There's no fire alarm, so whatever it is can't be that bad. I'm right here, just breathe, sweetheart."

Mary wanted to yell at him that nothing was fine, that what was outside their window was much worse than fire, that he needed to lay salt lines and fix up some holy water pronto, but she settled for an angry and tearful, "Damn it!"

John seemed to sense that his words weren't helping, as he then went silent while continuing to stroke her hair and hold her hand. Mary used the quiet moment to close her eyes and pray with all her might that the angel would be able to keep them safe.

When she opened her eyes, she saw the first flash of light amid the swirling black cloud.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Anna threw balls of lightning at the demons left and right, hitting some dead-on but merely grazing others as they flew at her from all sides.

Another angel, one she had never before met but who must have been stationed as the hospital's guardian, joined her in the fight. They were far outnumbered, but most of the demons were of the lowest class and easily beaten. There were only a handful who could give back as good as they were getting.

But where was Azazel? Where were all of his high-level friends? Something just didn't seem right.

She glanced through the hospital window at every opportunity to be sure that those inside were safe. The demon attack seemed to be focused solely on the area outside Mary's hospital room, almost as though the demons couldn't get past some invisible barrier, but Anna knew better than to take that for granted.

"Do you know what they want?" her new comrade shouted after they worked together to destroy one of the more powerful demons that was attempting to look through the window.

"The child about to be born inside," Anna shouted back.

That was as much as she could answer before one of the demons grabbed her and hurled her away from the building.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The lights flickered violently and the machinery around Mary's bed threw out random readings and the occasional spark. The doctors were trying not to show how panicked they were, but Mary could see it in their eyes.

"One hell of a lightning storm going on out there," Dr. Feinstein said as he prepared to examine her.

Mary grimaced at his ironic choice of words and gripped John's hand even tighter. She just had to get through this and let the angel take care of what was happening outside.

She just had to get through this...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Anna was dazed but not defeated by her newest attacker. It was stronger than the others, but not strong enough to take her down. She threw a burst of sound that stunned it and then swept in for the kill.

With a crackle of burning energy, it was gone.

And then another one took its place.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The sudden clap of thunder shook the entire hospital. The nurses in Mary's room gasped and screamed, and the doctor dropped his instruments.

Mary saw that John's face had gone as white as a sheet. She squeezed his hand gently. "It'll all be over soon," she said.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The demons seemed to be trying to lure Anna and her fellow soldier away from the hospital wall, drawing them further and further into the courtyard before either she or her new companion managed to double back and maintain their post. Anna just couldn't understand why none of the demons attempted to venture inside.

Until she saw a man standing below them in the shadows, watching and waiting.

A man with yellow eyes.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The storm had been raging for over half an hour. Mary was beginning to think it would never end.

Could the angel be losing?

"Okay, Mary, now I need you to push."

She shook her head, the exhaustion and the noise making her feel dizzy and disoriented.

"Mary," the doctor said firmly. "You need to concentrate for me. When the next contraction comes, you need to push. Do you understand?"

Mary took a deep breath and nodded. The angel was doing her part in this battle... it was time for Mary to do hers.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Anna tried to lunge for Azazel, but he saw her coming. He lifted his hand and sent a pulse that threw her back against the side of the building.

When she recovered from her momentary shock, he was already gone.

She glanced over at her companion, who seemed to have been cornered by a handful of triumphant demons. She hurried to his side and back into the battle not a moment too soon - the demons were working together to bind him and catapult him back to Heaven.

Anna, using a rush of anger to her advantage, picked them off one by one with lightning bolts. Those who weren't instantly killed either flew away or vanished, allowing Anna to quickly untie their former captive.

"Behind you!" he screamed before he had a chance to thank her.

Anna whirled around and laid two demons to waste.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The pain was excruciating, but Mary had refused the drugs. She wanted to be alert and aware in case something went wrong and the demon tried to take her baby.

She screamed as she bore down on the latest contraction, more out of anger and determination than because of the pain. She would deliver this child safe and sound if it was the last thing she ever did.

Moments later, she heard her newborn's cry for the very first time.

"Congratulations, you two," Dr. Feinstein said as he held the baby up for her and John to see. "You've got yourselves a beautiful, healthy baby boy."

Mary sank back against the bed in relief.

Now if only she could be sure that he would stay that way.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Anna heard the sound of a baby's cry.

Suddenly, everything went silent. The demons disappeared and the two angels were left standing, confused and exhausted.

They stood their ground for a few long moments, unsure whether this was only a temporary reprieve or the end of the fight.

After a full minute passed with no sign of a renewed attack, Anna was seized with a sudden fear - what if they left because they had what they wanted? She darted over to the window and looked inside.

The baby had been delivered, and he was being tended and measured by the nurses.

Anna sighed in relief.

Her new companion followed her and nodded in approval at the domestic scene inside. "You rescued me from the hands of those savages," he said, turning to Anna. "Please tell me how I may repay you, and it shall be done."

Anna looked at him carefully, attempting to judge whether or not he could be trusted. She saw no malice or suspicion behind his eyes, so she could only guess that he had not heard of her escape from Heaven. She decided to trust him. "You can repay me by telling no one what you witnessed here," she said.

He seemed confused by her request. "This was a sizeable battle, friend," he said. "I must tell my superiors..."

"Please. Say nothing. The child's life depends on it."

He seemed hesitant at first, but the truth in her eyes finally broke through to him. "If that is what you wish," he said.

Anna thanked him with a smile and asked him to continue standing guard before entering the hospital room to check on the family.

Mary and John were holding the child now, looking as happy and relaxed as though they knew nothing of what had taken place just a few feet away from them. And perhaps they _had_ known nothing. To her, that made it all seem worthwhile.

And now she could finally see her child.

She approached them slowly, careful not to stir the air in the room and announce her presence. Even from a distance, she could clearly see her child's aura surrounding the baby with a soft blue light, but she could not see his face.

"Are we sticking with Samuel?" John was asking Mary quietly.

Mary nodded. "I know it seems selfish..."

"No, no, they were your parents," John said, waving her comment away with his hand. "Of course we should name our kids after them."

Mary beamed at him and then returned to gazing adoringly on the face of her child.

Anna, now standing directly beside her, did the same.

It was in the eyes that she saw him. He was looking at her, watching her movements, almost attempting communication. It filled her heart with unspeakable joy.

When she looked at Mary a moment later, she saw her glancing anxiously at the window. Anna laid a gentle hand on the woman's shoulder to reassure her that she was, at least for the time being, safe.

Mary seemed to understand the message. She looked back down at her son and smiled. "Isn't he beautiful?" she said, love giving her face a radiant glow that Anna almost envied.

John grinned with pride. "He'll be a heartbreaker, alright. And look how strong he is!" He indicated the tight grip little Samuel's hand had on his finger.

Mary laughed and kissed the baby's forehead. "He's definitely special," she said.

Anna knew that the comment was directed at her and intended as a thank you for protecting him.

She also knew that the fight was far from over. Azazel's minions had given up much too easily for this to be declared a victory. He would try again.

And she would be ready.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_Azazel: "Better than mother's milk."_

Anna had been stationed on Earth to watch and observe humanity for centuries, but never before had she felt so intertwined with them.

She watched Mary closely in her interactions with her children, wishing that she could emulate the woman's love and compassion. She saw the bond between Mary and John grow stronger each day through their shared highs and lows of parenthood, and she longed for Castiel to be by her side sharing the same joys and hardships with their own child.

Remaining silent and invisible was torture, but she knew that it was for the best. Mary could feel her presence and was comforted, in turn reassuring her children that they were safe from harm. That was all that really mattered. Making herself visible would only complicate their lives and dampen her concentration in keeping watch over them.

But she wished that she could have this woman's life. To have the love and companionship of a mate and to create with them a happy, growing family must be so fulfilling. More fulfilling by far than simply observing them from the sidelines, without even being allowed to intercede on their behalf.

Such her life had always been, and such her life would remain forever. This was her lot and her cross to bear, she knew... but that did not make it easier.

Weeks passed. Every day, the child within the child grew stronger and seemed more aware of his surroundings. Anna sometimes spoke to him when no one else was around, telling him of who he was, how much he meant to her, and the important role he must play in little Sammy's life. He seemed to hear her, though the human child merely stared at her in wonder. She marvelled at how integrated the two souls could become while still remaining independent from one another.

Many times over the course of those weeks, Anna would catch the scent of a demon nearby. She would brace herself for battle, only to feel almost disappointed when the demon would pass them by. She did not understand why Azazel had left them alone for so long, but she never allowed herself to lower her guard even for a single moment. She only wished that he would show himself and be done with it. She was growing tired of sitting around waiting for him to strike, like a mouse cornered by a lazy cat.

And then, one night, she sensed a presence she had never expected to feel again - Raguel was in the house.

She had not counted on this. There were many safety measures in place around the house and on the Winchester property to guard against demons, but any angel could come and go as they pleased.

They would, however, have to deal with her before getting to the child.

She found him in the kitchen, managing to take him by surprise and hurl a wave of energy that sent him flying out of the house and into the backyard. "What are you doing here?" she shouted angrily as she followed after him. "Has Azazel sent you here for the boy? Have you not done enough for that abominable creature already?"

"Anna, please..." Raguel held his hands up in surrender, remaining on the ground where she had thrown him. "I have come to warn you! The others have discovered where you are. They are coming for you tonight!"

Anna eyed him warily. "Why should I believe you? You have been working with Azazel all this time. Why should you help me now?"

Raguel seemed confused, but Anna knew that he could be attempting to deceive her. "I have done nothing but try to protect you," he said. "I am taking a great risk in warning you, but I believe that the charges against you are unjust. Please, Anna, you must leave now!"

Anna shook her head in disgust. "You would really deny that you brought the child here on Azazel's order? I know about the deal Mary Winchester made with him. Joining my child with hers was the plan all along, wasn't it?"

Raguel stared at her open-mouthed.

"Wasn't it??" Anna shouted.

Just then, she heard the sound of a hundred wings fluttering directly towards them. She looked up at the sky and saw a bright light in the distance, growing larger every second.

He had been telling the truth about one thing - they were coming.

Anna wasted no time.

She took to the air and headed straight towards them, veering to the right once she was sure they could see her. To her relief, they all followed, leaving the house safely behind.

Her destination lay dead ahead - an abandoned barn on the edge of an open field. She had prepared for just such an event as this, but now she scarcely dared hope that her plan would actually succeed. Still, as long as she kept the angels away from the child, she would feel as though her perseverance had paid off.

They were closing in on her as she reached the barn. Just a few more meters and she might make it. She could feel their combined energy closing in around her, but if she could only make it inside...

With barely a moment to spare, Anna flew inside the barn, the angel battalion following closely behind. She aimed straight for the far wall, where she had painted a symbol using blood from a stray lamb.

She slammed her hand on the wall in the middle of the symbol.

A bright light shot out from the symbol and catapulted the angels back to Heaven.

Anna panted with relief and exertion. She had gained the victory for now, but she knew that she was not safe now that they knew where to find her. She hurried back to the house, determined to take her child away once and for all. Mary would grieve, but the human child would survive without his mother now.

He was six months old tonight.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Azazel chuckled to himself as he watched Anna lead the angel army away from the house. Perfect timing.

He waited while his angel ally entered the house and disabled all the salt lines, iron bars, and devil's traps that kept him from his prize, and grinned when he received the all-clear signal. It was finally time.

Eleven years of planning had led to this moment. Eleven years of manipulations, deceptions, corruptions, and false leads. Eleven years of weaving a labyrinth of clues and red herrings so complex that not even the damn angels had the slightest idea what he was up to.

Hell, even the demons who thought they were in on his plan only knew half of what was coming in the years ahead. The ones who had died on the day the kid was born really thought they'd been part of something useful rather than a simple decoy attack. Even those working right alongside him thought he was mounting some kind of human-demon crossbreed army. No one but Lilith and that upstart brat Ruby knew that the entire plan revolved around a single child.

Genius. He was the genius of all geniuses.

And now he was about to prove it.

"Angel-proof this house, would you?" he said to the demon lackey at his side. "I don't wish to be disturbed."

The lackey quickly got to work painting angel keep-out symbols on the side of the house.

Azazel smiled. "Show time."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Anna had only been gone for a minute. One minute.

Suddenly everything was lost.

As soon as she got within eyeshot of the house, she saw the demons milling around it. When she drew closer, prepared for a fight, she cried out with dismay.

One of them had disappeared through the nursery window.

"Admirable try, Anna," said a voice from behind her.

Before she could turn around, a hood was pulled over her head and a rope tied around her waist. She struggled in vain against them, but they had been sealed with a binding chant.

"Better luck next time."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The crimson drops fell lightly on the child's lips. Mary was awake, but it didn't matter.

She couldn't stop it now.

The angel in the child tried to resist the tempting liquid dripping into its mouth, but the human boy was thirsty. He licked his lips. That was all it took.

Azazel smiled as his blood entered the child's body. He could almost see the grace inside him being twisted and corrupted as he watched. The other children he had visited would turn ugly and evil and lose control, but little Sammy Winchester? He would be unstoppable. A lethal weapon. A human with all the power and might of an inbred angel, without any of that pesky righteousness getting in the way.

The child's eyes flashed gold as the angel began to die. It was working. Nothing could stop him now.

Not even Mary Winchester.

"Sammy!"

Azazel turned to look her in the eye.

"It's you..."

He took no pleasure in killing her. She really had been his favourite.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

If ever Anna had fought to survive, she did so that night.

Demons surrounded her, pinning her down and laughing in high-pitched shrieks as they began the rite to send her back to Heaven.

She couldn't let them win. She couldn't ever go back to that place. She had to save the child. Azazel must be stopped.

With what little strength she had left inside the angel-proof ropes she lifted her head and shouted to the sky. "CASTIEL!"

She knew that he would hear her. She knew that he would come for her.

It was just a question of whether she could hold the demons off until then.

She lashed out with all the force she could muster, sending at least two of the demons flying with well-placed kicks, but that just made the others all the angrier. They began chanting in unison, louder and louder, until she could feel her energy being sucked towards the heavens. She fought it for all she was worth, but their words were taking effect. She had failed.

Suddenly, she heard the sound of lightning bolts. The demons screamed in fright and let her go, just in time to stop the rite from taking hold.

A moment later she felt a crackle of electricity, and her ropes fell away. She was hauled to her feet, the hood was torn from her head, and she found herself standing face-to-face with Castiel.

She wished there were time for pleasantries, but she knew that every second counted. "The child," she said, hurrying toward the house with Castiel at her heels.

That was when she saw the fire.

"No!" she cried as the nursery window lit up with flames. She charged straight for it, ignoring Castiel's cries for her to stay away.

She tried to enter through the window, but she bounced off the pane of glass as though she were in a solid body. She was confused for only a moment before she saw the symbols on the side of the house.

Frustrated and impatient, she threw a heavy bolt of electricity at the wall, frying the siding until the symbol was cracked.

She was inside the nursery within seconds. One glance inside the crib showed to her relief that the baby was no longer there.

Then she looked up.

"Mary!"

John was at the door. He must know it was hopeless, but he seemed to be trying to reach his wife.

Anna flew towards him just as a burst of flame erupted from his wife's body and threatened to swallow him whole. She picked him up and carried him safely to the first floor, shielding him from the fire that had started to engulf the rest of the house.

When she set him down, she could see that he was too dazed to notice that he hadn't taken himself down the stairs of his own accord. She gently ushered him in the direction of the front door and watched as he raced outside, took his children up in his arms, and ran away from the burning building.

His children... the young boy was clutching the baby like a doll.

Thank God he was safe.

"Anna," Castiel said as he appeared at her side. "What just happened here?"

She wanted to explain everything to him - this cherished friend that she had missed so dearly - but she first had to see for herself that her child was well. Azazel had been inside the house long enough to achieve whatever sinister goal he'd had in mind. She just had to see...

But when she looked over John's shoulder at the baby in his arms, she wished that she hadn't seen at all. The baby was alive and well and watching the light from the fire as though it were a string of Christmas lights, but in his eyes... there was nothing. No light of kinship, no glowing aura indicating that her child was inside. The dark grey halo around the boy's face was completely unfamiliar... almost dark and sinister.

Her child was dead.

Anna cried out and backed away from him in horror. She knew now what had happened. She knew what it had all been about. Azazel had corrupted her beautiful child and killed him, leaving his energy behind without sentience or grace so that it would turn the boy into a monster.

And yet...

As she watched, the dark halo faded and a faint glow of grace flickered into its place. Anna gasped and moved closer, reaching out a hand to lightly touch the boy's cheek.

She felt a trace of her child's energy still. Part of him was fighting to live.

Perhaps all hope was not yet gone.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

He watched from a dark corner of the street as rescue vehicles surrounded the Winchester home. What was left of it, at least. He knew it was for the best that Mary had died - they couldn't risk her piecing the puzzle together too soon, after all - but he felt as though Azazel could have handled it a lot more quietly.

"You gotta admit," the filthy demon said in self-satisfaction. "I put on one hell of a show."

"That you did. And made one hell of a mess in the process."

Azazel laughed. "It will all be worth it in time, my friend."

He ruffled his wings in disgust. "Never call me that again."

Azazel smirked. "See you at the next milestone," it said. Then it was gone in a puff of smoke.

He grimaced and went back to watching the burning building. His attention was soon diverted, however, by the scene taking place on the front lawn.

Anna and Castiel.

They seemed to be talking. He could not allow that.

"Why?"

He stopped before crossing the street when someone appeared beside him.

"Why would you ally yourself with that... thing? Why would you use me this way?"

He sighed and reached into his robe, wrapping his fingers around the weapon that was concealed inside. Then he took the other's arm and led him to a more secluded place. "Because you were convenient," he said once they were alone. "And because you were weak. I mean, look at you. Tears running down your face like a human _child_."

"I only cry out of pity for you, Zachariah. Your punishment will be severe when our Father learns of this treachery. It was all you, wasn't it? The two of them joining... choosing the Winchesters to hide the child... everything. You led me to believe that you were following our Father's orders, but you were merely using me to do your dirty work!"

Zachariah rolled his eyes, pulled out his sword, and plunged it into Raguel's throat before he had a chance to say another word. "Our Father is no longer with us, Raguel," he whispered as he held him there, motionless and dying. "It's time to take back what's ours. And for playing your part in the master plan, I thank you."

He withdrew his sword, scooped up Raguel's body, and flew it up into the clouds. He dropped it just as Raguel's energy combusted and died.

One less loose end to worry about.

By the time he got back to the Winchester house, Castiel and Anna were gone. He muttered a curse under his breath in frustration. He couldn't believe he had once thought them such promising recruits. Now they had just become thorns in his side.

He could only hope that Castiel would do as he always did and follow his orders to the letter.

Then at least Anna would finally die.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

_Castiel: "You shouldn't be here. We still have orders to kill you."  
Anna: "Somehow, I don't think you'll try."_

He knew he shouldn't have come.

It was the lingering pain of not knowing that had led him here. All these months, he'd had to live with the fact that she was gone and would never return. He had deluded himself into almost believing that he did not care where she was or what had happened to her. What had happened to their child. Somehow it had all begun to feel like a distant dream, and he had tried to leave it behind and serve his Father with ten times the zeal that he had ever had before.

But then she had called for him.

He had sped to her side, as he had always done. How could he not? She had always done the same for him. In that moment, that was all that had mattered - Anna was in danger, and it was his sworn duty to help her. He _wanted_ to help her. Deep down he had missed her, and he longed to feel her presence again.

But now that he was here, now that he had seen her and saved her life, now that he had witnessed the death of his child whom he had never even known, suddenly things felt much less clear. Anna had harmed those of her own kind. She had broken out of Heaven's prison, barged through Heaven's gates, hidden herself among humans that were not her responsibility, interceded on their behalf in ways that she was not authorized to do, and set a trap for her fellow angels to throw them back to Heaven in disgrace.

She had disobeyed in many dangerous, irresponsible, and unforgivable ways.

His superiors had dictated that she must die.

"Castiel? Have you been listening to me?"

He could not look at her face. He had barely been able to hear her words as she had told him of the events that had led them to this place. They stood in the middle of a dense forest, miles from where the Winchesters lived. She would be safe here.

If he did not turn her in.

"Anna... I..."

He could feel her nod of understanding even though he did not see it. "They took you back to Heaven, didn't they?" she said. "Gave you the whole 'obedience is what separates us from the demons' speech. Re-indoctrination."

Castiel hung his head without replying. He knew her opinion on the so-called re-indoctrination to which every wayward angel was subjected. Those who humbled themselves and repented of their rebellious thoughts were allowed to return to their duties without a blemish on their record of conduct, but those who failed to do so were punished severely, even executed. He had always believed that it was a necessary exercise if they were to maintain order among the ranks. Anna had always felt differently.

"Cas," she said, laying a hand on his arm. "These past few months... I have seen and experienced so much that is forbidden to us. I've felt the love and the connection between myself and our child, and it was beautiful. I know that you believe it's wrong..."

"It's more than wrong, Anna," Castiel said, moving his arm away from her touch. "It is an abomination."

Anna seemed stung, but her voice remained soft as she continued. "He wanted to know you. I wanted you to know him, too. He was wonderful, Castiel..."

"Enough."

"You would have loved him."

_"I said enough!"_

The trees around them shook with the force of his shout, and a flock of birds flew away in fright.

Anna had tears in her eyes, but remained otherwise unmoved by his outburst. "If you could ever feel at all," she finished quietly.

Deep down, he knew that she was right. He would have loved the child. He would have loved Anna.

But he did not wish to love. He did not wish to disobey and turn his back on everything he had ever known. As much as it hurt him to betray and abandon her, it hurt him more to think of dishonouring his Father.

"So, I take it you didn't really come here to rescue me."

The words were like a knife through his heart. If only he could tell her how relieved he had been, just for that one moment, to hear her voice break through to him one last time. He _had_ come here to rescue her... but now he must fulfill his orders, no matter how much he detested them.

"If you come peaceably..."

"My life may be spared?" Anna scoffed. "Do you really believe that?"

Castiel shook his head sadly. "Please don't make this harder than it has to be."

"Harder than it has to be? To lead your closest friend to her execution? Just how hard _is_ that for you, Castiel?"

Castiel stepped toward her, his anger with the situation finally bubbling to the surface. "Don't you dare think that this is easy for me. I protected you! I protected the child! I never asked you to harm our kin or to hide from judgment, but now that you have there is no other choice. Orders are orders, Anna. You must face your punishment and accept the consequences for your actions. As do we all."

She stared at him impassively throughout his speech. She had heard the words many times before. She had even given them once or twice herself in days gone by.

Now they meant nothing to her. Nothing but betrayal.

"Our union was not our fault," she said. "Raguel was working with Azazel. He said himself that someone had done this to us - poisoned us or enchanted our island. We did not sin, and we did not deserve to be punished. Our child did not deserve to be punished. Everything I have done was to preserve his life. I have done nothing wrong."

"Disobeying orders... running from judgment... such things are _always_ wrong, whether we feel we are being treated justly or not."

Anna shook her head. "I'm sorry, Castiel," she said. "That is where we will always disagree."

Castiel sighed and reached out to take her arm. "Anna..."

But it was too late. She disappeared before he had a chance to stop her. A flash of light above his head showed that she had taken flight at top speed.

"Anna!" he shouted at the sky. "They will hunt you down! They will kill you on sight!"

He did not try to follow her. A secret part of him wished her well.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

She knew she should never go back.

Mary was dead. The angel child was dead. Anna's attachment to the Winchester family should have died with them.

But she had grown so fond of them all during her sojourn in their home, and she knew that the essence of her child still lingered inside the human boy. She could not let go.

She would be safe if she stayed far, far away from Earth, but what about them? They were still in danger from whatever Azazel had planned for them. They could still be hunted down and killed if the angels discovered the truth about Sam. They still needed her protection.

And she missed humanity. So many angels only saw their flaws, their hate and pain and disorder, but she had seen so much more - their love, their joy, and their shared sorrow. What she had seen was beautiful. What she had seen was to be envied.

What she had seen was to be preserved at any cost.

And so it was that five months after her escape, she returned to Earth in search of the Winchesters. She knew that there would be angels watching them, knowing that she would not be able to stay away forever, but she could no longer live with the thought that she was placing her own safety above their lives. She had to see for herself that they were well.

They were no longer residing in Kansas, and she could not follow the sense of her child's presence this time in order to pinpoint their location, but after a few days of searching she finally found them - they were staying with a holy man in Blue Earth, Minnesota.

This puzzled her at first, until she settled into watching them. To her surprise, this holy man was also a hunter, and he was teaching John Winchester everything he knew.

John Winchester... a hunter? She wasn't sure which outweighed the other - her relief or her concern. On the one hand, the more he knew about the supernatural world, the better he could protect his sons. But on the other hand, the life of a hunter was incredibly dangerous. Only the strongest survived.

Still, John seemed more determined than any other hunter she had ever seen. She was sure that he would do just fine.

In the meantime, she had no intention of leaving this family anytime soon.

She could still sense traces of her child's grace inside little Sammy, and every now and then as she watched him growing and exploring the world around him she could fool herself into believing that her child - her son - lived on. She rejoiced over his first steps as any mother would. When he fell down, she ached to reach out to him and set him back on his feet. She tried to tell herself that she must remain distant and hidden in the shadows, not become too attached to these humans or make herself known to them, but she knew it was pointless. She loved them. Each of them. And no one could tell her that it was wrong.

It was over a year before she was discovered. The Winchesters moved from town to town, state to state, never staying in the same place for more than a month at a time, and she would travel with them, riding underneath their car where no passing angel could see her. She would watch over the children when John was away, and if she sensed that he ran into trouble while on the job, she would rush to his side to make sure he got out alive. She knew that she could never safely intercede without drawing attention to her presence among those watching over the area, but thankfully John usually managed to get himself out of whatever danger he faced.

Until one night, driving out of Ohio with his sons after a long and challenging hunt, when he simply failed to notice a stop sign.

Anna's reaction was instantaneous. She had no time to consider the possible consequences to herself - all she could see was that her charges were about to die. She used her position under the vehicle to her advantage, pushing up until the wheels barely touched the road, and guiding it safely off to the side just in time to avoid the pickup truck that was barrelling towards them.

It was a simple act, but one that could not be explained as anything other than a miracle. She knew that if the angel watching over this town had been on their guard, she only had moments left before she was discovered.

Once the car came to a stop, she quickly rose from under it to check on the passengers inside. John was visibly shaken, and the two boys in the backseat were crying in fright, having been awakened from their sleep by the screeching tires and honking horns all around them. But they were alive, and that was all that mattered.

She looked up just in time to see a bright light in the sky, heading rapidly in her direction. With one last glance at the Winchesters, she took to flight.

But where could she go? She did not know this area, and no traps had been sent. Her pursuer had gained considerable speed with their head start, so she had little hope of out-flying them. Her only hope was to fight.

She quickly spun around and began throwing lightning bolts. It was only as one struck its intended target and sent him pummelling down to Earth that she recognized who it was - Uriel, her old friend and former underling. She had always known that her superiors had a sick sense of ironic justice - if orders dictated that an angel be killed on sight, it was always members of their own garrison who were ordered to find them and follow through with the execution.

It was somehow supposed to make the rebellious angel's death all the more degrading and dishonourable. Uriel must have drawn the short straw this time around. She was sure he must have jumped at the chance.

Then she saw that he wasn't alone.

Castiel sped towards her, and in her surprise Anna was taken off guard. He managed to gain significant distance before she turned and attempted to get away. Before she had gotten very far, she felt a crackle of electricity, felt a searing pain throughout her body, and began to fall to the ground.

He was on top of her in an instant, pinning her to the ground without so much as a hint of mercy or even of recognition. She stared fearfully into his cold, passionless eyes. He was about to kill her.

She was still too dazed from the jolt to fight back, but it did not matter. In that moment, she knew that death was preferable to living this way. She could not continue on protecting the Winchesters, and she could never return to that numb, monotonous, emotionless life that she had known before. She closed her eyes as Castiel raised his hand to smite her.

At least his would be the last face she would ever see.

Moments passed.

The blow did not come.

Anna opened her eyes in time to see a tear fall down Castiel's face. His hand was still raised, but he was shaking with indecision.

He still cared for her after all.

"It's alright, Castiel," she said in a soothing tone. "I am ready to die."

Another tear fell, though he made no sound.

"Please," she said. "I do not want to die by Uriel's hand."

Castiel sighed deeply and hung his head in either sorrow or regret. "Neither do I," he said.

Anna felt a glimmer of hope. "Then let me go."

Some of the coldness returned to Castiel's eyes as he looked at her sharply. "No," he said. "Our orders are clear. You have to die. I just..."

"You just need a moment."

The words seemed to sting. At least he had some feeling left.

One of Anna's hands was free, and she raised it to touch his face. Even now, after everything she had been through, after her faith had been tried and lost, and after those she cared for most had turned on and betrayed her, she could not fault with Castiel for his loyalty and obedience. He believed with his whole heart that what he did was right. He had kept his promises, both to his Father and to her, even though those promises had often conflicted. She had brought complication and heartache to his life that he had never done anything to deserve.

She could not allow it to go on for a single moment longer. He should not have to be constantly torn between loyalty and obedience. She could not stand to think of how much pain he would feel if he were forced to kill her. His gentle soul should not have to deal with such cruelty.

There was one way out for both of them.

Before she could think twice, she sent a burst of electricity through her hand that threw Castiel far enough away from her that she could stand. He was stunned just long enough for her to take to the sky and gain a good distance before he began to follow.

As she flew, she reached inside her core and wrapped her hand around the pulsating energy inside. She had heard of others who had done what she was about to do, and she knew what she could expect - once she had reached the point of no return, the others would find her almost impossible to locate and would give up the search, allowing her to live life as a mortal until the day came that she would die. On that day, she would face her judgment - a slow, agonizing death as punishment for the ultimate blasphemy. But in the meantime, Castiel would be spared from disobedience, and she would finally know what it was like to really _feel_.

With a scream of pain and determination, she ripped the grace from her body and threw it down to Earth.

She thought she heard Castiel shout her name as she began to fall.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"ANNA! NO!"

He was so close, but he could not reach her in time. He was thrown back in the wake of the blast as Anna's grace was torn from her.

By the time the bright light faded, she was gone.

He hovered in mid-air for quite some time, staring at the place where he had last laid eyes on her. He could not believe what he had witnessed. Anna's rebellion and disobedience were bad enough, but to fall? The most unthinkable, unpardonable sin of them all.

And now she had sealed her fate. Her soul would be tortured and killed once she had lived out her brief human lifespan. To think of Anna in so much pain... he would rather he had killed her himself.

But knowing she had done this for him was what hurt the most. How could he ever live with the weight of that knowledge on his shoulders?

He screamed in rage and grief and threw lightning at the clouds around him, stirring up a storm over the place where her grace had landed.

Little did he know that when the lightning touched ground, it fed the soil around the grace-enriched spot where a tree had already begun to grow.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

It had taken John a minute to gather his nerves after the near-miss at the hidden intersection, but once he did he decided it was time to pull in for the night. He spotted a motel a short way down the street, so after offering a few reassuring words to his frightened children, he pulled back into the road and carefully made his way toward it.

He couldn't believe he'd been so stupid. His mind had been so wrapped up in demons and monsters and God knew what else that he'd taken his eyes from the road. Never again, he vowed to himself as he pulled into the motel parking lot. Being reckless with his own life was one thing, but he'd be damned if he'd ever put his kids' lives in danger.

Dean was still wide-eyed awake from the shock when John opened his car door to let him out, but his initial panic had soon settled down when he'd realized his brother needed consolation. Sammy was still whimpering and hiccupping with tears running down his cheeks, but it seemed to be more from exhaustion than fear now that everything was quiet again.

"Come on, guys," John said wearily. "We're getting a room here tonight."

Dean obligingly hopped down out of the car while John reached in to unbuckle the baby. A moment later, he felt a tug at the back of his jacket.

"Look, Daddy! Shooting star!"

John lifted Sammy out of the car and turned to look up at the sky. Sure enough, there was a bright light streaking overhead, but it sure didn't look like any shooting star he'd ever seen.

He didn't understand why he suddenly felt a wave of loneliness wash over him at the sight. Maybe because the last shooting star he'd seen had been with Mary by his side. He swallowed back the memory and looked down at the baby in his arms.

Sammy's crying had ceased completely, and he was staring up at the stars in wonder. "Ane-del," he said, pointing a chubby finger at the light.

For a moment, John stared at Sammy in surprise, wondering if the child had really been trying to say what it sounded like. Then Sammy sniffled and buried his face in John's jacket as he rubbed his eyes and started to fall asleep.

John almost laughed at himself for thinking it was anything other than baby talk from a tired little tyke.

He reached into the backseat of the car for the boys' bag, and then slammed the door shut. "Let's go inside, Dean," he said, taking the boy's hand.

Dean allowed himself to be gently pulled inside the building, but he never dragged his gaze away from the sky until the door closed behind him.

The End


End file.
